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Help coming up with a positive explaination

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dlmos posted 6/9/2013 21:22 PM

Two weeks before dday I had my 10th anniversary and to celebrate I got a tattoo (yes I know...). I actually really like the tattoo and even with all the bad memories attached to the marriage I still like it and see it as a part of my life. When I got it I honestly meant it, and believed in what I was doing. So here's the problem with it:

It is in Hebrew and is the Song of Solomon ("My beloved is mine and I am hers"), so it has a very original look and I get asked about it a lot. I usually just smile and explain the tattoo and what it means. Were is have trouble is why I have it. Most people assume I'm married/attached and have it because of that. I don't really know a postive way to say it is a relic of my past marriage.

I've thought of saying something like "People do stupid things when they are in love.", but it wasn't a spur decision and I had no doubts wehn I got it. I had a ten year marriage and two kids so the concept of having to explain it later never entered my mind.

"Leftover" also sounds negative and that I don't like it.

So how do I explain that I have a tattoo from a previous marriage, and convey that to me it is a testament to my character: loving, loyal and commited...prone to grand romatic gestures too lol.

Any suggestions?

nowiknow23 posted 6/9/2013 21:30 PM

dlmos - It can be aspirational, you know. I would argue that your xWW was not your beloved. Your beloved is in your future.

Edited to clarify myself. A little too much sangria tonight.

[This message edited by nowiknow23 at 9:33 PM, June 9th (Sunday)]

gahurts posted 6/9/2013 21:39 PM

My first thought when I was reading this was for you to color it over and just turn it into a colorful, generic arm band. That is, until I read your comment: is a testament to my character: loving, loyal and commited...

This says so much and should not be covered up. This is about your character, not hers. You were committed, she wasn't. I like NIK's comment that your beloved is someone you are yet to meet.

Sad in AZ posted 6/9/2013 21:50 PM

It sort of reminds me of my favorite Rumi poem:

The minute I heard my first love story,
I started looking for you, not knowing
How blind that was.

Lovers don’t finally meet somewhere,
They’re in each other all along.

I think you explained it best yourself: It describes my character-loving, loyal and committed.

LineInTheSand posted 6/9/2013 21:59 PM


It is in Hebrew and is the Song of Solomon ("My beloved is mine and I am hers"

Didn't King Solomon have 700 wives and 300 concubines? And which "one" was his beloved?

End T/J

Your beloved is in your future.

Ditto NIK's comment!

dlmos posted 6/9/2013 22:10 PM

My problem with the "my beloved is still out there" doesn't really explain why I actually got it in the first place. Maybe I am more concerned that it's from a past marriage than they are...

cayc posted 6/9/2013 22:15 PM

Q: Why?
A: Because I"m a hopeless romantic and it's how I feel about love.

That answer respects the spirit of why you got it w/o having to go all TMI about having an ex-wife, and it doesn't mean it won't take on new meaning when love comes to stay with you again.

[This message edited by cayc at 10:15 PM, June 9th (Sunday)]

persevere posted 6/9/2013 22:17 PM

I think you explained it best yourself: It describes my character-loving, loyal and committed.

Ditto SadinAZ - and I think that is all you need to say. When someone asks you about it, the literal translation is not necessary - what it means to you matters most.

alphakitte posted 6/9/2013 22:30 PM

ditto what persevere said.

tesla posted 6/9/2013 23:57 PM

I've studied biblical hebrew and I've always found that particular phrase an incredibly beautiful sentiment. The whole damn book it comes from is beautifully written. I wrote the same incription to my ex and at the time I meant it.
If I had it tattooed on myself, after translating it I would simply say that it is a testament to who I am and what I seek.

Nature_Girl posted 6/10/2013 00:37 AM

I had that phrase inscribed on our wedding rings and our wedding invitations.

I don't think you should feel that explaining the tatoo will hinder a relationship in the future. It's a mark showing your ability to love & give yourself completely. It's a testament to you. That the woman who inspired it was an unfaithful hag who wasn't worthy, well, that's not on you.

wontdefineme posted 6/10/2013 07:14 AM

Just tell people its a biblical verse. Christians will ask, others won't. Don't be ashamed of the man you were in your marriage. No secrets,no lies,and any woman of any worth would understand. Plus it does translate into who you are in a relationship.

dlmos posted 6/10/2013 07:44 AM

Thanks for the replies everyone! I like the idea that I don't have to say the literal translation and just go with something a little more simple. I do tend to talk to much so maybe just "It's from the Song of Solomon and is a testament to my character, loyal and hopelessly romantic."

I like that better

InnerLight posted 6/10/2013 07:53 AM

I originally got it with a particular woman in mind, but when that relationship ended the meaning of The Beloved shifted to (insert meaning here). Now when I look at it, it reminds me of my own faith and devotion.

Rumi, the Sufi poet saint from the 11th or 12th century refers to his relationship with God as The Beloved.

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