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User Topic: What do you think of keys for Father's Day?
♀ 29816
Member # 29816
Default  Posted: 11:35 PM, June 9th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

XH moved back home in October. It wasnt the smoothest transition, but things have drastically improved. It's not the perfect R by any means, and we are still in MC, but I can confidently say that we are in R. But, he's still sleeping in the livingroom, and doesn't have his own set of house keys.

I'm thinking if giving him a set of keys for Father's Day, as a gesture that he's at least earned the right to that much. Still don't knw when the bedroom will be open for business again, but I think I'm ready for this step. I just don't knw if I should; or if I should wait for him to ASK? He very much takes my lead on the pace of if I don't make the gesture, he will likely never ask. Should I see what MC has to say about it? downside of starting over is that it's literally starting over....with all associated new relationship parameters

Me: BW-43
Ex-WH: 36
Married: 6 years
DDay #1: 10/5/10, one week before our
daughters 4th birthday
DDay#2: 5/21/15
D official 2/23/11
Not sure where to go from here
OW 1&2:Delusional, stupid whores

Posts: 1440 | Registered: Oct 2010
♀ 37439
Member # 37439
Default  Posted: 12:12 AM, June 10th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think it's sweet!
Maybe when you give him the keys say "I would of really liked it if you had asked"

With a smile ofcourse

OW1 inadvertently let me know WH loves English breakfast tea. Never ever saw him drink it. And I never will.

Posts: 818 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: Australia
♀ 34319
Member # 34319
Default  Posted: 3:44 AM, June 10th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Give him the keys if you are ready. What is his love language? Will the symbolism of the keys be lost on him or will he get it?

And since it is a new relationship (albeit one with old baggage), maybe it is time to talk about talking about big stuff. Even the bedroom stuff.... It is hard when they are waiting for your lead. We are struggling to displace/ disrupt relationships patterns of over 20 years at this point, and it is hard....

[This message edited by OnAnIsland at 6:09 AM, June 10th (Monday)]

D-day: Christmas 2011
D-day 2: 3/28/2013

Married for over 15 years
2 beautiful sons

You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them. Maya Angelou

Posts: 1486 | Registered: Dec 2011
♀ 36456
Member # 36456
Default  Posted: 9:36 AM, June 10th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That's a cool idea - if you're ready. My guess is he will get the symbolism if he's been living there since October with no keys and sleeping in another room.

He could be like my H. He told me that he didn't feel he had the right to ask me to take him back after all he put me through. He waited for me to make the first move - basically to show him I was ready.

Good Luck!!

Me (46) WH (42),2 boys 15 & 11
M 18yrs T 22yrs
Separated 10 months (4/12 to 2/13)
Final Total - #1/#2 ONS and #3/#4 EA/PA - left me for #4, didn't know about #2 and 3 until he moved back home
We are solidly in R now

Posts: 792 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Dallas, TX
Topic Posts: 4

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