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What do you think of keys for Father's Day?

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webmistress posted 6/9/2013 23:35 PM

XH moved back home in October. It wasnt the smoothest transition, but things have drastically improved. It's not the perfect R by any means, and we are still in MC, but I can confidently say that we are in R. But, he's still sleeping in the livingroom, and doesn't have his own set of house keys.

I'm thinking if giving him a set of keys for Father's Day, as a gesture that he's at least earned the right to that much. Still don't knw when the bedroom will be open for business again, but I think I'm ready for this step. I just don't knw if I should; or if I should wait for him to ASK? He very much takes my lead on the pace of R....so if I don't make the gesture, he will likely never ask. Should I see what MC has to say about it?

Blah....one downside of starting over is that it's literally starting over....with all associated new relationship parameters

summerain posted 6/10/2013 00:12 AM

I think it's sweet!
Maybe when you give him the keys say "I would of really liked it if you had asked"

With a smile ofcourse

OnAnIsland posted 6/10/2013 03:44 AM

Give him the keys if you are ready. What is his love language? Will the symbolism of the keys be lost on him or will he get it?

And since it is a new relationship (albeit one with old baggage), maybe it is time to talk about talking about big stuff. Even the bedroom stuff.... It is hard when they are waiting for your lead. We are struggling to displace/ disrupt relationships patterns of over 20 years at this point, and it is hard....

[This message edited by OnAnIsland at 6:09 AM, June 10th (Monday)]

TXBW68 posted 6/10/2013 09:36 AM

That's a cool idea - if you're ready. My guess is he will get the symbolism if he's been living there since October with no keys and sleeping in another room.

He could be like my H. He told me that he didn't feel he had the right to ask me to take him back after all he put me through. He waited for me to make the first move - basically to show him I was ready.

Good Luck!!

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