Cookies are required for login or registration. Please read and agree to our cookie policy to continue.

Newest Member: jpickup0824

Reconciliation :
Why are OW email addresses still in contacts?

This Topic is Archived
default

 Caldwell (original poster new member #37613) posted at 1:26 PM on Monday, June 10th, 2013

We are 7 months out from the last DDay, and have been in R since then with a great MC.

Things have been getting better, but I am cycling back into the grief and loss and anger. My mom just died a month ago- I think that is exacerbating the loss aspect.

I had stopped sorting through WH's email, etc. a few months ago. I do believe he has kept NC.

However, his email accounts are really confusing! He has been living in another city during the week for the past year as a loaned employee from his original company ( which he requested to separate himself from OW or he "couldn't" end it.)

His old work account contacts are mixed in with his new work account contacts. I personally blocked 2 of the OW on yahoo months ago. But I noticed this morning that they are both on his new work account contact list....they are work email addresses; not yahoo. I am confused. I confronted him about this once on yet a third work account, and he said the addresses automatically transferred over, he was sorry, and he said he deleted them.

When I pull up the account he knows I have access to, there isn't even a "contacts" folder in there. But when I type the first letter of the OW names, they pop up.

I know this is detailed and muddled. But I am so confused, hurt, and dismayed. If anyone tech--minded can explain this, I would appreciate it. Or if anyone had had a similar experience.....

Me: BW (54)
WS: (55)
Married: 31 years
2 DDs, 23 & 13
D-Day# 1: November 1999 EA with employee
D-Day#2: 4/2/2012 EA with employee
D-Day #3: 11/2/2012 Found out 1999 EA was actually a PA

posts: 49   ·   registered: Nov. 26th, 2012
id 6368156
default

summerain ( member #37439) posted at 1:30 PM on Monday, June 10th, 2013

I know you can import contacts. So I believe even if the ow were blocked if they are in your contacts list they transfer over.

There's a multitude of ways to diit. But from m knowledge it all rings very true.

[This message edited by lauren123 at 7:30 AM, June 10th (Monday)]

OW1 inadvertently let me know WH loves English breakfast tea. Never ever saw him drink it. And I never will.

posts: 818   ·   registered: Nov. 10th, 2012   ·   location: Australia
id 6368159
default

 Caldwell (original poster new member #37613) posted at 1:35 PM on Monday, June 10th, 2013

Thank you, Lauren! That helps!

Me: BW (54)
WS: (55)
Married: 31 years
2 DDs, 23 & 13
D-Day# 1: November 1999 EA with employee
D-Day#2: 4/2/2012 EA with employee
D-Day #3: 11/2/2012 Found out 1999 EA was actually a PA

posts: 49   ·   registered: Nov. 26th, 2012
id 6368163
default

Alex CR ( member #27968) posted at 1:50 PM on Monday, June 10th, 2013

I once had a colleague who changed companies and it was impossible to remove his old email from automatically popping up at the top of the list when I started to type his name. Several times I sent my correspondence to his old company and the person who took his position would let me know...ugh...so embarrassing. I never did figure out to get rid of the old address and have had it happen again with other names. 'Trust but verify' is a good habit for those of us who have been betrayed, though, and there's nothing better than finding something suspicious turns out to be nothing at all.

BS Me 63
WS Him 64
Married 35
Together 41
DD 11/16/09
I can dwell in the negative or seek the positive...one road is lonely...the other teeming with life.

posts: 1861   ·   registered: Mar. 18th, 2010
id 6368173
default

NoMorDeceit ( member #23547) posted at 6:17 PM on Monday, June 10th, 2013

My H's company email auto populates when you start typing a name of anyone who works for the company. The only way they get removed is if they no longer work for the company. The person does not have to be saved in the contacts for this happen.

FBS
Many D Days in April 2009
Multiple affairs, LTAs, and many OWs
Reconciled for 8 years. Decided I deserved better than someone who had ever cheated on me. R failed 2/2017. Happy and free. :)



posts: 1003   ·   registered: Apr. 8th, 2009
id 6368612
default

meplusfour ( member #38958) posted at 8:12 PM on Monday, June 10th, 2013

I had this issue as well. Whenever I typed in the first letters of OW's name in email, her email addresses would pop up as a suggestion. FWH and I had deleted OW from his contacts list but this remained. I spoke to a tech friend who told me that when the email address pops up, right click on it and a window opens up that allows you to delete the address. I did this and the email addresses have disappeared. This only works if OW and your husband do not work for the same company.

Hope this helps.

BW (me)42
WH 44
3 daughters, 1 son
Married 10 years, together 13
DDay 3/14/2013, four year PA
In R
"Sometimes you have to accept the fact that certain things will never go back to the way they used to be."

posts: 438   ·   registered: Apr. 11th, 2013   ·   location: Canada
id 6368770
default

 Caldwell (original poster new member #37613) posted at 11:11 AM on Tuesday, June 11th, 2013

They don't work for the same company. Thank you for the help everyone- and solution, meplusfour!

Me: BW (54)
WS: (55)
Married: 31 years
2 DDs, 23 & 13
D-Day# 1: November 1999 EA with employee
D-Day#2: 4/2/2012 EA with employee
D-Day #3: 11/2/2012 Found out 1999 EA was actually a PA

posts: 49   ·   registered: Nov. 26th, 2012
id 6369588
This Topic is Archived
Cookies on SurvivingInfidelity.com®

SurvivingInfidelity.com® uses cookies to enhance your visit to our website. This is a requirement for participants to login, post and use other features. Visitors may opt out, but the website will be less functional for you.

v.1.001.20250404a 2002-2025 SurvivingInfidelity.com® All Rights Reserved. • Privacy Policy