I have really bad depression - have had it for decades - and of course this whole thing with infidelity, separation and eventual divorce has made it worse. However, I've made some changes in the past couple weeks that have been huge.
- My shrink started me on an additional anti-depressant, one that is supposed to help the others that I'm on to do their thing.
- I've totally stopped drinking.
- I've been going to bed at a decent hour.
- I've started leaving my alarm clock on my dresser, so that I have to get out of bed to turn it off.
- I've joined a walking group for exercise.
- Whenever I feel sad, I either go for a walk, or pick up one of my musical instruments to play.
- I've accepted offers to hang out with some new people, and been seeing my existing friends more.
- I've been eating better.
I don't know which parts of that recipe have been effective, but SOMETHING has. I didn't cry at all last week; I did some work and started seeing clients again; I've been getting better at playing my music; I've just been feeling better!
And really, none of that shit is hard to do. Well, okay, I do miss having some wine with dinner, but seriously, a pretty small price to pay for what could become happiness.
I even caught myself smiling to myself while I was shopping the other night. Now how cool is THAT!
I guess the bottom line is that if you start acting like you love yourself a little, you may start to believe it - and you may even like it.
