I’m new here. And I’m not sure how to start. Still learning all the acronyms. I just felt obliged to say thank you to all the people here who are sharing their stories and trying to help others. It has been immensely helpful to me.
You would think after 23 of being with my wife, that I would understand how deeply I have hurt her. But reading the posts here have really helped me to fully understand her pain and my responsibility for it. And that’s really helped me to stay calm and hang in there.
We have a perfect life. The two most beautiful sons – 12 and 8. She’s beautiful and we had a lot of great sex into our 40’s. I love her and we have built an incredible life together. About 4 years ago, I simply lost my mind. Every reasons for an affair stated on this page sounds true to me – excitement, feel wanted, emotional support, blah, blah, blah.
For me, I think I am so emotionally lost right now, I’m not even sure which “reasons” are actually true and honest. I think I have been so scared my entire life that I have no clue how I feel about anything. Just some insane desire to destroy my life. I could list all the bad things that happened to me as a kid. Maybe there are some reasons to figure all that out. But right now, I am just terrified I have destroyed her life and mine and my sons.