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macakipa posted 6/10/2013 23:05 PM

5 months post divorce and I am having an emotional breakdown tonight.

Lots of milestones for my children over the past month with events attended by my XH who is trying to "be friends".

I am just tired of being the strong one for my children...

I am tired of hanging onto hope that this sadness and empty feeling will fade.

I am surrounded by friends and yet feel so alone sometimes...

Yep, having a pity party for one.

Sorry folks.

FaithFool posted 6/10/2013 23:09 PM

Well I'm here and I'm pretty sure others are as well. Hugs coming...

((((Macakipa)))

caregiver9000 posted 6/10/2013 23:12 PM

Well, this happens. You don't have to be strong. Take a day and just plain fall apart. Have a good ole fashioned pity party. IT IS ALLOWED!

there will be plenty of time to be strong again later.

((hugs))

You are not alone.

ArkLaMiss posted 6/10/2013 23:13 PM

Very sorry. You know that tomorrow is a new day, so go ahead and have your party. Sometimes we just need to feel sorry for ourselves and how things turned out.
Sorry you're hurting.

macakipa posted 6/10/2013 23:13 PM

Thank you so much FaithFool.

I hate days/nights like this!!

macakipa posted 6/10/2013 23:17 PM

Thank you all.

I want to get back on that "finding me" track, but just don't have that fight in me tonight.

FaithFool posted 6/10/2013 23:17 PM

Been through plenty of those, know just how you feel.

Can you watch a stupid movie or something?

Old Fawlty Towers on Netflix has been making me laugh lately...

gma56 posted 6/10/2013 23:24 PM

((Macakipa))

It is not easy being a single after so many years of being married and having a useless XH doesn't help. BTDT.

It took me along time to be comfortable being alone and not be lonely. I had never lived without a husband or kid in 52 yrs. A major empty nest syndrome.

I do have a couple friends that I can call, sometimes you just need to tell someone about the screwed up day you had or a funny story you heard.

You've been through so many changes since dday and a new normal doesn't happen quickly.
Hugs
Gma

macakipa posted 6/10/2013 23:25 PM

I am looking for a distraction on television now.

I know we are in charge of our own happiness, but sometimes the unfairness of what our WSs did to us is just a heavy weight to carry.

I am mourning not sharing in our children's milestones like I had expected to with my loving and faithful husband. That man is long gone....

Jrazz posted 6/10/2013 23:26 PM

(((macakipa)))

gma56 posted 6/10/2013 23:31 PM

I am mourning not sharing in our children's milestones like I had expected to with my loving and faithful husband. That man is long gone....

I understand ! My DD was married 4 yrs ago and I was still pretty much an emotional mess. Missed the joy of helping her.
Oldest GS will be 13 on Weds. FT hasn't seen him in 5 yrs.
FT's son just had a baby boy. FT is in Thailand waiting the birth of his and Twat's baby so he could care less.

I'm finally enjoying the events but we haven't been together for 5 yrs. It took time to feel comfortable in my NB.
Hugs

macakipa posted 6/10/2013 23:31 PM

Thank you for understanding gma56

Jrazz, I really like your tagline. I need to work on not seeing my XH as an enemy. Still searching for solid indifference.

tesla posted 6/10/2013 23:34 PM

I'm sorry mac. When those down feelings start to take me I get through them by digging in the yard. I also like to look at pics of me and my son doing things together. Don't know why it helps, it just does. (uh...I probably also say FTG a few times as well.)

I love 'fawlty towers' too!

((((((mac))))))

wildbananas posted 6/10/2013 23:34 PM

Indifference will come. In the meantime, it's okay to pause to fall apart a bit before you pick yourself up and get back to business.

Mental health time is priceless. It's okay to indulge in it now and again. Nobody can be strong 24/7. (At least, I know I can't be!)

macakipa posted 6/10/2013 23:40 PM

tesla, if only it wasn't pitch black outside right now. Digging in the dirt with a flashlight would certainly uncover some earthworms...or a visit from the police

Thank you for your hugs and the laugh I actually just had through tears.

Thank you too wildbananas. It is so good to have your company this evening.

[This message edited by macakipa at 11:41 PM, June 10th (Monday)]

inhishands55 posted 6/10/2013 23:51 PM

Keep your chin up macakipa...I like you had pity parties and it took me along time to get over it..I finally came to the conclusion I made my XH into someone he never was...I put him on a pedestal, that he didn't deserve...That the man I fell in love with was dead and gone...I look at him now and wonder what I ever saw in him.
Time is a wonder healer...Give yourself time and do thing YOU enjoy for YOU..((((HUGS to you))))))

FaithFool posted 6/10/2013 23:52 PM

F T G

[This message edited by FaithFool at 11:56 PM, June 10th (Monday)]

gma56 posted 6/10/2013 23:55 PM

FF was that picture for Ft's Twat ???
Not too many Twats on SI.

Love it !
ETA: Maybe not flowery more like stinkweed.

Gma

[This message edited by gma56 at 11:57 PM, June 10th (Monday)]

FaithFool posted 6/10/2013 23:57 PM

Poofed it in favour of Farty Towels...

Now that we have totally jacked Mac's thread, I'm going to bed.

[This message edited by FaithFool at 11:57 PM, June 10th (Monday)]

macakipa posted 6/10/2013 23:57 PM

You guys are awesome! I knew this was the right place to come to.

FaithFool

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