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How do you R, worried it will happen again?

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libertyrocks posted 6/11/2013 09:38 AM

Is this what true R is? Trusting but verifying? My friend told me her cousin caught her husband cheating. They went to MC and a year later he did it again bc he didn't "fix" himself. We were both told this during a dinner at our friends house. H didn't say a word regarding the situation. I brought it up. Still, not a word from him...leaves me wondering...

[This message edited by libertyrocks at 9:39 AM, June 11th (Tuesday)]

seamonkeydo posted 6/11/2013 10:42 AM

You can trust him when your ready. If he is not showing you he can be trusted then there is no reason to trust him. He needs to be there and reassure you enough so that you feel comfortable enough to take that next step. I believe after an A trust is earned, not given

libertyrocks posted 6/11/2013 12:06 PM

No, he is showing my by his awesome actions.

I'm just not sure if I WANT him after he burned me so bad, y'know...

cds22 posted 6/11/2013 12:17 PM

Well, I am new to this but I find it very helpful to my own boundaries about what I will do if I happens again. I am also working on a legal and financial plan with my long-time accountant and consulting an attorney about post-nuptials and other protections for me and the kids should it happen again.

On the whole, I have come to accept (painfully) that I won't ever have that kind of trust again. My marriage is going to have to be very present-oriented and enjoying it in the moment. Sometimes I think it is like being married to someone with a very serious illness who could die or become gravely disabled at any time.

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