Coming from a very angered BW - you can't fix this. It's a stage. Please look up,the 5 stages of grief for infidelity.
My recommendation is to say "I am sorry my choices put you and us here - if I could change it I would"
Apologize for hurting him.
Just simply say you are sorry for causing his hurt and anger and that you love him.
There is nothing rational about anger but it is a HUGE part of his healing process.
He has to get through it.
Don't shut down but don't overcompensate either. Sorry that's not much of an answer but it is truly a fine line.
Please let him get the anger out if not it will rear it's ugly head down the line.
Stand by and be there
ANGER: Anger may be directed at ourselves; others (including family members, spouse, the person who cheated; God; or we may experience a general irritability.
We may feel angry towards people who push us to accept our loss and betrayl too soon, or who pretend that nothing happened.
Anger is normal. Pushing down anger is harmful and may cause things like ulcers, high blood pressure, or depression.
Unacknowledged anger may be directed at innocent people and unrelated events. It will come out one way or another. It is often difficult to admit being angry.
Erroneously we may think, “nice people don’t get angry.” It is important to recognize our anger. It is helpful to find ways to express our anger, such as screaming in a private or exercise.
Urge your husband to talk about his anger (IC or friend if he can't with you) Talking about it will help define, understand, and learn how to handle it.
To suppress anger can lead to deeper than normal depression and bitterness.
It is important to acknowledge our anger and to take steps to handle it. Is he in IC?
To quote another post
I'll just add one thing: If you love your spouse, don't fear the anger. Anger is often rooted in fear, in this case fear of losing something.
Where you should pay very close attention, and I speak from my own experiences, is when she shows signs of indifference. This means she is detaching to protect herself. Then it'll definitely be a different ball game.
[This message edited by 1Faith at 3:26 PM, June 11th (Tuesday)]