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Some Shared Words of Advice

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macakipa posted 6/11/2013 17:42 PM

If you feel the anger boiling inside of you, restrain from lashing out at your STBX or XS.

Come here and vent.

Do not send a litany of angry text messages to said person.

After finding out some news this morning about my XH and his LTA OW, I couldn't contain myself. I exploded.

I had let my guard down and accepted his attempts of kindness and shared support during the past few weeks of some family issues and milestones for our children. I did not stay within my boundaries of remembering who and what he is and let my heart grab onto some false and deluded hope.

I was forthright and nasty. And, you see, no one is allowed to vent or express their feelings to XH if they contradict his warped view of life.

In any event, I am now expecting that he will be having his lawyer send me a cease and desist order based on the following in our divorce agreement:

"The Parties shall continue to live separate and apart and from the date of this Agreement, free from interference by the other, as if fully unmarried, and furthermore, neither will molest, malign, annoy or trouble the other in any manner."

I am so mad at myself. I have taken the high road upon discoveries in October 2011 and since our divorce was final on January 8th of this year.

So please, heed my advice and throw your phone out the window before you consider emailing or texting out of anger.

On a side note, if anyone has done as I did and received a letter of reprimand or a letter for appearance in court, could you please share your experience or send me a PM?

[This message edited by macakipa at 5:44 PM, June 11th (Tuesday)]

dreamlife posted 6/11/2013 19:06 PM

Great advice here ~ thanks!

Sending you big hugs, too.

FaithFool posted 6/11/2013 20:12 PM

That's a standard clause I believe.

Try not to worry too much. I remember how I felt when I found out the same, that he had gone back with her (he did it three or four times), it's crazy-making, it really is.

I texted him on Christmas Eve because I had info they were out on a date and she was going to present him -- like some insane kind of prize -- to her crowd.

Deep sixed that, he went home by himself that night.

But it was more a pathetic kind of texting, managed to refrain from calling him what I really thought he was.

So lesson learned, turn off the phone, leave it off and come here instead.

Big hugs. Been there, done that. Got a closet full of shirts that don't fit anymore!

nowiknow23 posted 6/11/2013 21:40 PM


gma56 posted 6/12/2013 01:27 AM


We have all done the same and survived. remember how you feel right now about your actions and know there won't be a next. He's already had enough head space.
I don't have the experience legally.

[This message edited by gma56 at 1:30 AM, June 12th (Wednesday)]

SBB posted 6/12/2013 05:03 AM

I fell off recently too my friend and sent him on an ego kibble bender. More contact in the last fortnight than I was ready to endure over the next few years combined.

A few bumps and scratches but I dusted myself off and hoisted myself back on board the NC wagon.

Just like when we knew we were DONE with the M we will one day be DONE with the urge to break NC.

I find it ironic that a year ago I was sitting on my hands to not break NC with declarations of love and now I sit on my hands to not break NC to unleash many cans of whoop-ass.

I can't wait to know who's hands I'll be sitting on next year...


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