We're going through ups and downs. Over the last two days or so I have just been tired. Bone tired.
I have never felt like this before. I just want to curl up and shut down my mind, except that sleep doesn't come.
I'm on anti-depressants and so tired of the ordeal after nearly four months of pain.
Just to clarify, I'm not even close to feeling suicidal or anything like that. Just deeply tired to the point where it's hard to even move.
The fatigue is so overwhelming that I feel it more than the pain of the A.
Has anyone else experienced this before? Is this a stage? How long does it last and what happens next?
That being said, I would suggest talking to your MD who has you on the antidepressants just to be sure it isn't something else.
I think it varies for each person on how long the physical side effects of the A last. My hair came out in handfuls, I couldn't believe I wasn't bald (first time in my life I was thankful for my beyond thick hair)
Anyway, your still new to the recovery phase of infidelity. I hope you are in IC and MC, both of which were extremely beneficial for me and assisted in the healing process. Try to force yourself to do something you enjoy and gives you positive feelings. Working out helps a lot too.
Good luck on this road, it is a very hard one, but can be worth it if the work is done.
D-Day: August 14, 2012
9 year LTA with former co-worker and family "friend"/7 years EA+PA, 2 more years EA
Is it possible the fatigue is a side affect of the AD you are taking? I know there are a couple that I took in the past that left me feeling drained.
That being said, the R process is exhausting. Make sure you remember to take care of yourself.
I had been going to the gym and actually doing a pretty good job of taking care of myself for the last three weeks or so -- then this extreme fatigue hit me.
I just feel drained and there's a lot to do at work. I'm dreading going home because attempting R takes so much out of me.
ETA: Just saw your second post. I still say try to get in some exercise, even if it is very light.
[This message edited by Later at 1:24 PM, June 12th (Wednesday)]
Maybe try to carve out little bits of time for you or you and your wife that don't involve working on your marriage? It sounds like you need a mental break from the A stress.
Is your wife doing everything you need her to do to help you through this?
Also, if you are going to the doctor anyway, it is probably a good idea to get bloodwork done and make sure your levels of vitamins, minerals, hormones, etc are all normal. Extreme stress can deplete those too. Six months after I was taking the meds, I started having new symptoms and it turned out to be a vitamin and mineral deficiency made worse by stress. It's worth checking for peace of mind.
"Better to be slapped with the truth than kissed with a lie"
This might be related to the meds. I'm also wondering if it's related to being on edge for so long and my mind just can't do it anymore.
Weirdly, I'm not worried about my WW doing anything wrong again or that I'm not doing enough at work (I'm actually doing the bare minimum, usually I do a lot). I'm just plain tired and I'm not sure what my body is asking for.
It doesn't seem to be sleep, food or exercise because I've been pretty good about all three lately.
I really think for me it's part depression/stress.
If we would have a real bad "go around...argument"...that would exhaust me for the entire day. Just like I had done a hard day of work.
Infidelity takes its toll on the mind and the body....not a lot of fun!!
D-Day 2004 (my EA/PA, her EA almost PA)
D-Day 2005 (her EA)
D-Day 8/28/2012 (TT her EA)
D-Day #2 7/22/2013 (more TT)
D-Day #3 7/24/2013 (Truth 2.0 EA/ PA)
Usually I have two in the morning. I went out to a brand-name coffee shop known for serving very strong coffee. This is helping me stay alert.
I hate feeling like this. Grrrrr.
Thanks for all the suggestions.
It sounds prodromal to a virus FSM or like an autoimmune disease flare.
Go see your doctor. Get some blood work done. You'll want to rule out thyroid problems, etc. Don't just assume it is A related.
While it's hard to eliminate the stress during a time like this, there are things that you can do (supplements, diet) to help support your body and minimize the long-term effects.
I didn't know about this until I was several years out from D-day. By then, my adrenals really were exhausted and it has taken many years for me to recover. I'm just now starting to feel like my old self.
While you may not have full-blown fatigue, I'm relatively certain that your adrenals are working over time - and that can then cause a host of other problems with your autoimmune system (thyroid, hormones, etc.)
BTW, the pick-me ups of sugar and caffeine are some of the worst things you can do at this time. They actually create basically a boomerang effect with your cortisol, adding that much more stress to your adrenals.
Those were an awful two days of feeling like a zombie.
I actually managed to make it to the gym for half an hour and to have a so-so day at work.
My WW told me she felt similarly over those two days. Maybe we exhausted each other.
Never had this problem before the A. Now, my entire body is out of whack between the sleep deprivation and not feeling like eating a healthy diet. I have been drawn to sugar and coffee...
A's really take their toll on us in all aspects of our lives. Nothing seems "normal" any more!
Don't feel alone.