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liarswife29 posted 6/12/2013 13:35 PM

I don't know what to think. I'm glad I found this forum as I have no one to talk to about this other than him and of course he wants not to talk about it. I feel very threatened by all of this and I have been through everything he owns trying to find proof of what I already know. And still he wont admit anything. I'm very confused at this point. I was looking to see if there is anyone here who can help me with the Dominican part of things, the language barrier or if anyone has had a similar occurrence there

brokenblackbird posted 6/12/2013 13:44 PM

Your husband is having affairs. He is away at work and lies to you about what is happening.

Finding out if "girlfriend" is different in the Dominican Republic isn't going to change the fact that your husband considered he may have HIV, he admitted to being around prostitutes, and you found i-love-you emails he sent to someone.

What would you tell someone who had all this evidence her husband was cheating?

liarswife29 posted 6/12/2013 14:55 PM

I know what I HAVE told friends in similar situations, I know that he's cheated just by how he was acting last summer. I also know what he tried with me he didn't learn from watching porn, I just couldn't confirm it until now and now he's telling me he doesn't remember the emails. I have not told him about the phone calls because I don't want to be lied to about that now. I'm just making a little file. He's far more computer savvy then I am he went to school for it, I know he's wiped his cell phone from the Dominican CLEAN, he also has a thumb drive that he keeps with him at all times. I have looked everywhere I can think. I have to be very careful how I proceed at this point. I don't want to tell him everything I know.

brokenblackbird posted 6/12/2013 15:02 PM

Please tell us you are using condoms with him and have been tested for STDs, because his behavior is very risky TO YOU.

It is clear he isn't going to be honest with you about it. He has lied so far. He has covered his tracks by deleting history and, you know of one email account, he could have made more.

Its all in what you are willing to put up with. So far your husband knows you are willing to live with things the way they are, so he doesn't have to change. He just has to cover his tracks a little more heavily. No problem. He'll lie a little more.

You can say when enough is enough.

liarswife29 posted 6/12/2013 15:13 PM

I have not been tested yet. I also have used condom. His tests all came back negative but I don't have the desire to sleep with him in any context at this point. As I said I know he's lying. I am a lot stronger than he thinks I am. Our daughter died in a car accident 9 years ago so I can handle this. I am proceeding with caution, I have no intention of walking away with my tail between my legs. I have been faithful and loyal in our marriage and I have put up with a lot in this marriage and he knows I will not tolerate this and he's afraid of what I'm going to do. He should be. I am not going to tell him everything and for the time being I will let him think things are ok while I make my plans.

brokenblackbird posted 6/12/2013 15:25 PM

You should be tested. There are things that don't show up right away and some things that men don't get tested for.

Good luck.

MCGar posted 6/12/2013 16:31 PM

Buy a similar thumbdrive and switch them out when he's in the shower or sleeping.
Deny knowing anything when he comes to you about it.

traditoperanni posted 6/12/2013 16:43 PM


Your are getting great advice. Definitely see a lawyer even if it is to see what your rights are. etc. I love MCgar's idea of switiching thumbdrives (Why haven't I thought of that?)
Your wh is definitely cheating and the lies he comes up with are amazing. I love the one about fall asleep on the beach.
Keep investigating, however, it's kind of hard when he is away half the time, unless you can afford to send a PI to the DR.
I think your plan is a good one. Start making your exit plans. You do not deserve this.

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