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eyenight (original poster member #39488) posted at 8:42 PM on Wednesday, June 12th, 2013
Son has some behavior issues and I'm scared that bf will dump me because of son and his behaviors. He's been really good with accepting son and all his problems.
This morning son destroyed something very important to bf. Bf said its not a big deal. It's just stuff. I told him but it's something important to you and its destroyed, I'm responsible. I started balling because of it. I feel horrible. I can't replace it. Bf said he needs a male in his life, I'm not going away. It will take sometime for son to get under control but I'll work with him so don't worry. Bf said I work during primetime and he can guarantee that my sitter isn't disciplining him. The way that I do. Bf wants to spend time working with son. So next month he will be sons babysitter. Bf does have 2 kids who are older we are talking teenagers. His daughter might be living with him in a month or so for the summer so she will be able to help out too.
I don't want son be the reason we break up. This is the.best thing to come along and I don't want it to go away, because son actS horrible.
gma56 ( member #19595) posted at 9:12 PM on Wednesday, June 12th, 2013
I just posted about my adult DSS in my thread about Living a double life with my adult kids.
My DSS was 3 when we won custody of him. Mom had mental problems. DSS is ADHD.
He was a terror. Best birth control I could have ever had because he was such handful. I loved his Dad and loved him. Some days it was difficult to even like him when he was young.
I knew if I was in long term with FT, then I was also with DSS. It was a package deal.
If BF dumps and runs because of DS then that is for the best because DS isn't going away.
I just hope BF doesn't win DS's love and respect then bails a few years down the road. It took me everything I had in me to stay a few times. It was that bad !
Hugs and becoming a step family isn't an easy but I wouldn't trade DSS for anything.
Gma
[This message edited by gma56 at 3:16 PM, June 12th (Wednesday)]
BW-Divorced
It's my life now, my choices, my mistakes to make and my victories to celebrate. His choices made me free of liars and betrayers in my life. That is priceless.
lieshurt ( member #14003) posted at 9:55 PM on Wednesday, June 12th, 2013
So next month he will be sons babysitter.
I would never allow somebody I've been dating a short while babysit my young child.
No one changes unless they want to. Not if you beg them. Not if you shame them. Not if you use reason, emotion, or tough love. There is only one thing that makes someone change: their own realization that they need to.
FaithFool ( member #20150) posted at 6:03 AM on Thursday, June 13th, 2013
I have to agree with this ^^^^.
I hope it's not the case, but there could be a reason your son is acting out against your bf.
DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire
click4it ( member #209) posted at 6:08 AM on Thursday, June 13th, 2013
Your son comes first - over a boyfriend. Your son breaking something of your boyfriend's is not cool, and there should be a consequence. However, you should not be more angry at your son because you might *lose* the boyfriend.
Its good that the boyfriend is taking an interest, but I am overprotective and I would be cautious about him wanting to take such an interest. How long have you been together?
Just think twice about your motives for your son.
Me: 45
Two boys: 20 and 17
Divorced 12-13-05
d-day 10-02-01
Laughter will cure life's ills. Have you had your laugh today?
eyenight (original poster member #39488) posted at 4:55 PM on Thursday, June 13th, 2013
I didn't mean full time sitter just once a wk like just a day for guy stuff. He and.I.have known eachother for over a year. Started seeing each a few months ago and started being exclusive earlier.this month. He knows son and.I.are.a.package.deal.
I have had.guys in the past break it.off with me because.of son. Son tends to.push buttonsand.see.what he.can getaway.with. he wants to.be a.male role model in sons life. I don't see a problem with it. Eentually the longer we date the more he is going t bein sons life. Eventually he and I will move in as we get to know eachother better and want to take that step.
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