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Following the 180 & Separated...rough

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powerthroughpain posted 6/12/2013 15:07 PM

Long story short, 1.5 months out from Dday 1. WW had a 8 month EA/PA. I demanded NC immediately but WW went underground with electronic contact. We separated and ended MC 3 weeks ago because she couldn't stop contact. 2 weeks ago, I finally asked for a divorce when I found out she went to the beach with OM along with my daughter. After I threatened her with divorce, she said she would NC immediately. She said she has maintained NC for almost 11 days and she is going to IC. She said that in her heart she wants us, but that she is really screwed up in the head. I guess thats the fog.

I have been working on my own FOO patterns, codependency, loving myself, reconnecting with my emotions, developing stronger more intimate frienships, writing and keeping busy. But I still have some rough days like today where I feel like I am drifting away from her, or that she is drifting away from me because of the separation. But, I guess I have to trust that things will work out. I want to make it work for her, but I guess I am impatient with this fog she is in, or worrying that she will never come out of it.

Thanks for listening!

[This message edited by powerthroughpain at 3:09 PM, June 12th (Wednesday)]

PinkJeepLady posted 6/12/2013 15:54 PM


I am listening and you are doing amazing!
I hear you on the having "patience" part, who knew it was humanly possible to have so much waiting for a wayward to come out of the "fog"?! I don't think you are being impatient at all, it's just so so frustrating isn't it? To me it would be obvious that she was risking your marriage by meeting up with him to go to the beach. At least she admits to being "screwed up in the head", yeah, that's an understatement isn't it?!
I agree that going about your own business of healing is extremely difficult in itself, without the stress and burden of wondering what she is going to do. It feels like a fight for you life doesn't it? It takes so much focus to take care of yourself and let go of what you can't change/fix.
I admire your strength, you name says it all "power through the pain"!
Wishing you inner peace as you continue on in your journey.
Take care

powerthroughpain posted 6/12/2013 19:04 PM

Thank you Pink jeep Lady! I really appreciate your words of support! I guess today is one of those crappy days.

powerthroughpain posted 6/13/2013 13:11 PM

After talking with a close friend, he said that I should think about committing myself to the marriage 100% even though I don't know whats going on with her. My fear, is that if I straddle the fence waiting for her to finally figure it out, then I might distance myself so much that Ill be gone.

So today I am recommitting myself to my half of the marriage with the hope that she will return to me, and when she does Ill be ready. I have nothing to lose because I already lost everything. I don't plan on being with anyone else for a long time, so it doesnt really matter. Ill keep focusing on myself and keep the hope alive inside my heart.

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