Last year, this time, my W spent a week helping at our youth church camp about 2 hours away. Before she left, I noticed that she had begun texting and talking a LOT on the phone to a M friend of hers. Things did not go too well the night before she left and we had a bit of an argument.
The next five days we hardly talked or texted because she "could not get a good signal at camp." It didn't feel right and my depression had really started to kick in. I was miserable. I felt in my heart that she was talking to him and not me.
I was right. I found out about two and a half months later when I started checking her itemized phone bills. Eventually I audited the bills and found just how much they were talking.
During those 5 days, she and I exchanged about 40 text messages and spoke on the phone for a total of 55 minutes. With the OM, they exchanged over 800 text messages and spoke on phone for about 40 minutes total. She had lied about not getting a signal at camp. She was talking to him pretty much from the moment she woke up until she went to sleep.
We are in R and it is that time of year again. She has been NC with OM since early September.
Ever since she went to camp last year I have associated it with nothing but bad, hurtful memories. I knew she wanted to go again this year and I was not comfortable with it. Initially, I had planned to go with her and help out, but decided not to a few weeks ago.
I knew that I had to let her go and trust her if we were going to be successful at R. I'm working this week and taking care of our boys in the evening.
Today is our second day with her at camp and things are going well! I am checking her phone usage a couple times a day and we are talking and texting throughout the day. This feels so much better and seems to be lessening my camp trigger greatly.
Last year, the day she got back we had a big all-niter fight. This year I am optimistic that things will be better. It already feels different for both of us.
Me: BS/FWH 46
Her: FWW/BS 39
OM: 32 3-month EA/PA
Married: 11 years
2 Sons: 8,20
D-Day 2004 (my EA/PA, her EA almost PA)
D-Day 2005 (her EA)
D-Day 8/28/2012 (TT her EA)
D-Day #2 7/22/2013 (more TT)
D-Day #3 7/24/2013 (Truth 2.0 EA/ PA)