I have put up with a lot in this marriage and he knows I will not tolerate this and he's afraid of what I'm going to do. He should be. I am not going to tell him everything and for the time being I will let him think things are ok while I make my plans.
I read your posts and I think you are doing well. We don't know our inner strength until something like this brings it out.
I don't know where you live but in some places Spousal Support is paid for an indefinite time when someone has been M over 25 years. I was M 30 and I made copies of EVERYTHING in our filing cabinet before he thought to remove it. I'm presuming he made good money for working in the DR. Document it.
Now is the time to be strong and protect yourself. You can grieve later. Hire a shark. You deserve it.