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ow creeping on my wh

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SorrowBhindSmile posted 6/12/2013 19:55 PM

after feeling relatively positive about the progress WH and i have been making, i feel like i am talking a nose dive into the obsessive thoughts about ow.

super long story short....a neighbor has caught the OW watching my WH on several occasions. (OW lives right down the street from us) The neighbor brought it to my attention....so i started watching...and i too have caught OW hovering about and watching my WH.

There has been total NC...she hasn't tried to contact him...but i am still deeply bothered. I feel like i am digressing backwards. Mind movies are running rampant again. i think about the A a lot more now. i feel like i was making such personal progress...and now i feel like its 12 steps back.

I have talked to my WH about it. He has been very supportive. He never looks her way. he never drives by her house. if he sees her outside he stops what he's doing, comes in and tells me immediately. I watch him when he doesn't know i am watching...to make sure he is abiding by our boundary agreement....he has given me no cause to worry about his actions.

I'm just having this huge range of emotions. I'm pissed that she is doing it. Its lame, really....i mean, how pathetic is she, peeping thru the bushes to catch a glimpse??? I am mad at myself for letting it bother me. But more so, i am worried about the affect it is having on me and my mindset to work towards R. I know i need to focus on ME and WH...leave her out of the equation....but jeez.

ugh. just ugh.
rant over. thanks for listening.

NoraLee posted 6/12/2013 20:06 PM

This would bother me to no end as well. My ow was creeping on my H at work...standing above his bar on the 2nd level of the casino starig down at him for like 15 minutes at a time...not even being subtle about it.

My ow is changing positions soon (major career move - from waitress to dishwasher - dream big whore - lol!) having her live down the street would send me around the bend...can you move? Is she married? If so - tell her bs...especially about the extra creeping.

The obsessing is normal this soon out from Dday. Especially with the increased activity on her part. It took 9 months for my homicidal mind movies to end. I'm glad your FWH is being forthcoming - that will help a lot...

jo2love posted 6/12/2013 22:03 PM

Noralee -

Please remember to follow the guidelines when posting.

Recon - There is to be no venting about or name calling the OP in this forum

sunshine226 posted 6/13/2013 07:02 AM

give her an eyeful the next time you see her creeping, I am assuming this is taking place outside so you are limited to what you can do in public, but why not go up to him while he is outside and kiss him like never before and then walk hand in hand into your house and then let her imagination guess the rest

Just a thought

sinsof thefather posted 6/13/2013 09:22 AM

What a loser. My main concern about this, as well as the upset it's causing you, and that it is actually being quite 'stalkerish' is that she's being obvious enough about it to have drawn attention from people who presumably don't already know about the A. She's making a spectacle of herself for everyone to see and also potentially creating a talking point for people on your street - which your children could eventually get to hear about. Peeking through hedges? What an absolute idiot she is.


It makes me feel very, very sad for her poor husband too, because it's showing exactly where her head is still at. In complete contrast - I'm glad that your husband is supporting you with what is obviously going to be a very big trigger, what with it being right on your doorstep so to speak.

confused615 posted 6/13/2013 09:37 AM

She must be very obvious if other neighbors are noticing. Is she on your property when she does this?

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