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Oldest DD never did this...or at least in my presence. But if you knew my middle DD, it wouldn't be a surprise it's her. She has figured out touching herself feels good. She even has her own little method. I'm not upset and I'm totally ok about it. She was really going at it in bed next to me when I was reading to her! I told her that she could only do that in her room...not downstairs, in my room, or at school. Luckily, the oldest can be totally clueless so she won't notice.

Any other things you think I should say to her? She is only 4 so it's not like I'm going to have "the talk" with her. I just want her to know when it is appropriate to do it.

It's absolutely natural. Just make sure she understands that it's a private (NOTE - not secret) thing to be done only when she's alone, and that she is the only person allowed to touch her body in that way.

Ah...good thing to add. Only she is allowed. And that boys want that...but they have to work for it.

When I finally figured out what she was doing it was one of those, "oh.....ohhhhhhhh," moments. She was totally cool with it. She even told me, "only in my room."

Our step daughter had that phase and we did the same that others have advised. Had age appropriate sex talk and told her that this was something in private and only in her room when alone.

Sounds like you got this covered...

Only in private

Only her ( and I wouldn't even worry about adding the stuff about boys yet... that will come in a few years)

My DS was doing this when he was around 8 I think... I walked in on him in his room. I just said what you did... it's natural and just do it in private.

I've walked in a few times now and she has been doing it. She stops right away and says, "I'm stopping I'm stopping. Only alone." I didn't say the boys part...the only thing about boys she like is that they pee standing up and she wants to know when she will learn!

Oh.my.gawd. We don't have to do this, right? We can just skip this part of parenting, right?

I agree with pp- you sound like you've got it handled. That's fine- just when your by yourself- something we keep private.

I have a friend who has a dd slightly older than my 4 year old- and she's read some book that she's using that says to talk about sex, privates around toddlers age- at a level they can understand.

I've been doing that- just using real words.

Both my daughters have discovered their happy place so to,speak- and dear god my 1.5 year old son- I can't even imagine what that behavior's going to be like.Sometimes when I'm changing him he puts his hand there - ooohhhhhhhmygaawwwdd- it's like he's struck gold.