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closure vs revenge with OW

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PhoenixStorm posted 6/13/2013 04:15 AM

I see a couple of good topics here this morning on contacts with the OW. To do or not to do. That is the question.

I agree that contact face to face, writing a letter, email etc. is giving the OW too much power.
I have waffled back and forth between being a good person and praying for the strength to get through this and over this and being a completely irrational maniac who fantasizes about doing really rotten and horrible things to hurt her and ruin her life. A year and a half after D Day and I am still so angry. This OW works where I work and although my BS doesn't work there anymore (Condition of NC) it is very hard to move on with reconciliation when I have to see this stupid slut every day.
Her boss favors her now because she sucked my husband's dick. She continues to get promoted and treated like she something brilliant at my expense. She's not brilliant and she's not a leader. In my opinion, she shouldn't have access to employee records with social security numbers and personal info because she is a deceitful liar and has been convicted of ID thief and check deception.
She uses people to get whatever she wants and doesn't have a problem spreading her legs to do so.
So here's my question: Does anyone have a good idea of a legal revenge that exposes this bitch to what she really is. (Or at least to where I won't get caught.) I really need to find a way to get her out of this workplace. If I go to Corporate with the info I have on her and her boss's favoritism I better have enough to get them both fired or it's going to come back on me in a big way.
Does anyone have a really good story about getting back at the OW and if it worked out or made you feel worse. I feel like I need some closure and everybody says meet with her and talk through it. Well she's a fucking whore and a liar and if I talk to her I'm afraid I will lose it and just beat the living shit out of her. Besides that, she is irrelevant and I don't want to give her the satisfaction of knowing that she has any effect on me a year and a half later. I am in a position at work where I can't say anything negative about her or to her or I'm "intimidating" her. It's like.... who is the fucking victim here anyway.

Sue1964 posted 6/13/2013 04:32 AM

Closure please they are not worth it.ive been down the contact road and just a waste of time n energy.they are what they are can't get their own fella so go out to wreak someone else's what my h ow did.
Let them get on with it and watch it fall part that is your karma and from someone who knows its a great feeling.especailly when your own life is going good.

PhoenixStorm posted 6/13/2013 04:41 AM

Thanks for the response. I have been down this closure road, telling everyone, I'm over it, she's irrelevant. I wrote my nasty letter and then burned it like my IC said to do. Felt good for a minute but the shit just keeps coming back.
I know sometimes at work when she's within a hearing distance, I really enjoy telling other people how much fun my hubby and I had with the grandkids or on the boat this weekend, etc. Can't really tell if it bugs her because she is just such a selfish bitch, and doesn't care about how anyone got hurt or how anyone feels. All this for a ride to work................what a whore. I'm glad I have this site to vent to. I don't know what I would have done without SI!!

Bobbi_sue posted 6/13/2013 05:49 AM

I don't buy much of what is said about worrying over "giving the OW Power" or making them feel important because they know they bother us.

All that is a given. They know they bother us and I think it is even worse when we "pretend" we don't care, and essentially lie down and play dead while they continue to virtually walk all over us. (In your case she is favored at work and getting promoted).

It sounds like you truly have information that could possibly get her fired. That is not necessarily vengeful. If she did acts that could get her fired, that is her own to deal with regardless of who blows the whistle on her.

However, I know how this can go and you realize it could backfire on you. It sounds to me like you need to find yourself a different place to work, for many reasons, actually. But after you work elsewhere, blowing the whistle on the Whore should not come back to bite you in any significant way.

If it makes her feel "important" that you bothered to try to get her fired, oh well... let her feel important then!

If there was something (that is true) I could report to an authority or employer to get the whore in trouble, I'd likely do so.

LivinginLimbo posted 6/13/2013 07:27 AM

Oh how I can relate. I too would love to have a shitstorm rain down on the MOW.

I fantasize about going to the local paper and telling them about a high school teacher who's on AFF where she posts pix of her boobs, videos of herself masturbating and writes about every lurid detail of her sex life. Much as she thinks she's done enough to hide her identity, it would be very easy for an outsider to connect the dots.

Still, after all we've done to get her stop contacting my H, it would be stupid of me to do anything.

I can't imagine the stress you work under knowing she's there and still using her magical va-jay-jay to get what she wants. That would make me crazy.

solus sto posted 6/13/2013 08:33 AM

There's no such thing as closure. It's a myth.

That said, there IS such thing as avoiding reinjury. That's what NC is about, and frankly, you're NOT NC.

It applies to both spouses.

She needs to be out of your lives.

StrongerOne posted 6/13/2013 09:26 AM

She's been convicted of id theft and check fraud? Does HR know this -- did she lie on her job application about being convicted?

If so, closure, revenge, that's secondary to doing the right thing, which is ensuring that she does not have access to others' personal information. Find the record of her convictions, copy it, send it along to HR. Anonymously, if you wish.

SisterMilkshake posted 6/13/2013 10:09 AM

As StrongerOne says, get a copy of her convictions. Send a copy to HR and to even the boss of your boss. I would do it anonymously, but state your concern that this person shouldn't have access to employee or anyone's records were highly personal information is available to her.

Also, you might also say maybe the newspaper or tv news would be interested in knowing that the place you work hires convicted identity theives and that they have access to sensitive information. Just a thought.

[This message edited by SisterMilkshake at 10:10 AM, June 13th (Thursday)]

Rise And Shine posted 6/13/2013 10:27 AM

Wise and rational words from Bobbie_sue.

I know the torture you feel just walking into a building that you know she'll be in. But it's over the top masochistic torture to have to witness this woman get promotions and special treatment. I'm not sure whether to admire your herculean level of self-discipline or be overwhelmed with feelings of sadness for you!

If she has access to SS numbers and you have proof in the form of actual legal documents that show she was convicted for identity theft and check forging then my god woman, what are you waiting for??!!! Surely it's not hard to find someone, even from another state, to scan and fax this information to HR, the president of the company and any/every other department. You can act as shocked as everyone else who receives notice that she's a convicted identity

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