I'm sorry, Idiot, for it's very hard when we doubt our own selves. Other people shouldn't have this power or ability over us, in my humble opinion.
When Perv came back and pretended to reconcile, I found myself frantic and panicky to please him and it nearly ruined me. I found myself trying to be someone I wasn't and found myself even more uncomfortable around him and with myself and also angry.
FWIW, I don't think there's anything wrong with how you feel. Remember that affairs cause very deep wounds on the people they affect and I think affect so much of a person that it's a lot to sort out.
FWIW, I don't think you have to rush into anything physical and if you do and aren't comfortable in your mind and heart with it, it may ruin it or at the least make it really, really difficult and then cause more problems.
Nowadays, we are not in R but in D and I find myself disgusted and almost running from him, hence the nickname, "Perv", short for Disgusting Pervert.
I'm glad your WW is trying and I will be routing for you.
I think when trust is broken, other fundamental things are broken as well and being intimate or physical takes trust.
A person is a person, no matter how small. -Dr. Suess
Perserverance and spirit have done wonders in all ages.