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Detaching
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libertyrocks posted 6/13/2013 09:35 AM
Anyone else feel like they are detaching from WS?
He already broke my heart and I feel like I'm getting over him. Not to mention he had been breaking my heart during his 3 year long PA's and I can remember phone calls with him and I"m crying while he's telling me "it's not my problem" that we're so distant...It's funny how I look back on those moments.
I don't know how he can stay when I will NEVER look at him, trust him, love him, or care about him the same.
He did those things with no regard for the aftermath.
Now, he's trying 110%? FTG. I don't think so. My anger is here for a good reason.
We have MC today. Whoopee (sarcastic).
Skan posted 6/13/2013 12:25 PM
Oh, I detatched from my FWH for some time. I had to, for my own mental health. He knew I was doing that too. I had made the decision to be there, while I detatched, because he was so clinically depressed that I was actually not convenced that he would not kill himself. So while I stayed, to work on R and keep tabs on him, I was also not fully present for him and I really didn't give a rat's patootie about that. He was left in limbo-land, wondering if, when his ADs kicked in, I would pack up or pack him up. And to quote your WH, it wasn't my problem.
And it's not YOUR problem if your detatchment makes him feel uneasy. So Sad, Too Bad. If he complains about you doing what you need to do to keep yourself together, being the somewhat nasy person i can be, I'd probably throw that phrase back in his teeth.
crazyblindsided posted 6/13/2013 13:35 PM
I don't know how he can stay when I will NEVER look at him, trust him, love him, or care about him the same.
I know what you mean. I don't think my WH REALLY understands that the M will NEVER be the same. My WH doesn't even resemble the man I first met. What I see now is a very broken man who has a long way to go to fix himself. He is someone who is capable of inflicting a lot of hurt on those he loves. I have realized patterns of his behavior that I never could understand before (PA and NPD tendencies).