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Newest Member: W2MNL (46024)

User Topic: Sad karma story
purplejacket4
♀ 34262
Member # 34262
Default  Posted: 2:42 PM, June 13th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

One of my resident physicians found out her husband was having an affair. She left him and lived with our chief resident while getting the paperwork done for the divorce. She had filed but it was not finalized. The husband moved back to their hometown two hours away with the mistress.

Yesterday he and the AP had a huge fight that culminated in his shooting himself in the head, killing him. He did this in front of the AP. His best friend called my resident to tell her. Five minutes later the AP had the gall to call my resident. Luckily we had taken her phone away and another resident took care of that bitch.

The whole thing is so sad. I'm just grateful my resident was here at Gigantic Medical School with all of her support. She starts IC today with a therapist.

One of my interns remarked he thought Grey's Anatomy was fictious but it seems that shit is all true.


Me: BS 45
Her: fWS 48 (same sex partner)
Together: 18 years now (both MDs)
OW: meh so what 40s PhD
DD1: 10/30/11EA; DD2: 11/10/11 Had ONS; TT until 12/26/11; broke NC 6/12; NC again 7/12; R-ish

Posts: 2354 | Registered: Dec 2011 | From: Great Southwest
gahurts
♂ 33699
Member # 33699
Default  Posted: 2:46 PM, June 13th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wow. That is so sad. I hope she is going to be ok.


"Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indominable will" - Mahatma Gandi

"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - Aubrie


Posts: 3518 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Georgia
Chefj9
♀ 38604
Member # 38604
Default  Posted: 2:49 PM, June 13th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That just made me so sad... How horrible.


ME - BS 50, Him - WS 46 trying to "R"
4 DD's - blended 25, 15, 15 and 12
Multi DDays the grand finale 5/13/2013
From here on out, I am only interested in what is real. Real people, real feelings, that's it, that's all I'm intere

Posts: 472 | Registered: Mar 2013 | From: Texas
jo2love
♀ 31528
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 2:50 PM, June 13th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((purplejacket & resident)))


Posts: 36763 | Registered: Mar 2011
TrustGone
♀ 36654
Member # 36654
Default  Posted: 3:00 PM, June 13th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh my goodness, that is horrible. Unfortunately WS's do not realize what a mess they make when they start an A. Hopefully the BS knows that this had nothing to do with her, just like his A had nothing to do with her. It sounds like he had major issues he tried to cover up with the A and then realized what a mess he had made of his life. It is a shame he did not seek IC and took the cowards way out.

One of my best friends first husband also killed himself after my BF found out and filed for divorce. They had a daughter at the time and she hardly remembers her father now. Luckily she knows that he had major mental issues and has never blamed herself for his suicide. She remarried a wonderful man and they have been together for many years. She will get through this and heal in time. It is great she has such a wonderful support system in all of you. (((HUGS)))


BW-50
WH#2-51
M-9 yrs T-11 yrs
4 children-none together
DD#1-9/5/11 LTA 2yrs
DD#2-7/3/12 False R
DD#3-4/29/13 (OW broke NC)
Status: Divorcing as soon as I can as he is still cheating with OW

Posts: 2473 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Texas
DeadMumWalking
♀ 25341
Member # 25341
Default  Posted: 3:14 PM, June 13th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

pj, please send ((((resident hugs))))

This is such a terrible thing, it shows how truly fucked up and broken some WS can be.

Please assure your resident that NOTHING she did caused this, and there was NOTHING she could do to prevent it. NOT. ONE. THING.

I cannot believe the nerve of AP. Or worse, maybe I can... thank goodness you all had resident's back, you'se good peeps

((((res))))


Me (BS), Him (WH): early 50's
3 DS: teens!!! :)
M: 25 (19 1/2 at Dday), Together 30
Dday: Dec 2008
Limbo-ish, again (after multiple S) -- weighing my options

Posts: 2713 | Registered: Aug 2009 | From: EU
stratus722
♀ 35907
Member # 35907
Default  Posted: 6:03 PM, June 13th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Grey's anatomy makes it seem so fun and exciting. Real life shows the real destruction. Such a sad story !!!!

Posts: 103 | Registered: Jun 2012
MartlArts
♀ 36130
Member # 36130
Default  Posted: 6:09 PM, June 13th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So sorry to hear this. Sending up prayers for your resident.


excerpt from an awesome quote "Forgiveness - the finishing of old business that allows us to experience the present, free of contamination from the past."

Posts: 1003 | Registered: Jul 2012
stronger08
♂ 16953
Member # 16953
Default  Posted: 6:17 PM, June 13th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Infidelity: The harmless vice. Instead of glorifying it like they do. Perhaps more stories like this need to be out front and center. The prisons and graveyards of the world are full of stories just like the one you described. Yet no one likes to talk about them. Makes me wonder what kind of place this world will be for my kids when they grow up. And I don't even want to think about when I have grandchildren.


You cant eat soup with chopsticks.

Posts: 5904 | Registered: Nov 2007
gma56
♀ 19595
Member # 19595
Default  Posted: 6:22 PM, June 13th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm so sorry for the BS and families.

When we warn of the possible dangers after dday and D/S. We know this or that the WS can snap and fatally hurt others. What is broken can sometimes be more than a boundary issue.

My heart goes out for the BS and thankful she has support and now IC.
Gma

[This message edited by gma56 at 12:07 AM, June 14th (Friday)]


BW-Divorced
It's my life now, my choices, my mistakes to make and my victories to celebrate. His choices made me free of liars and betrayers in my life. That is priceless.

Posts: 20387 | Registered: May 2008 | From: Closer to where I want to be..
painpaingoaway
♀ 27196
Member # 27196
Default  Posted: 6:52 PM, June 13th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So sad. We've had a similar situation on our family, but it was a murder suicide. The AP is very lucky he didn't kill her first.

However, and this may sound callous, but, if it was going to happen, I'm glad it happened before the divorce was final, so the AP will not benefit from his death as far as life insurance, or inheritance issues go.

JMO.


me BS female 56/him WS 59
Married 34 years
D-day July 09/he gave me his slut's STD
Watch my movie: "My wayward husband's adventures in STD land":
Episode 1: youtu.be/9Jv0-d_CdYc
Episode 2: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8Tz822H82Gk

Posts: 7161 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Coastal South
SoVerySadNow
♀ 36711
Member # 36711
Default  Posted: 7:23 PM, June 13th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Very sad.


Me:BW
Him:WH
D-day(s),after years of TT and Gaslighting was Labor Day Weekend 2012, continuing for a week after. *Dammit! More TT 3/9/13
Really trending toward D- planning about it is my "happy place" now.

Posts: 1292 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Sunny Florida
Snapdragon
♀ 4286
Member # 4286
Default  Posted: 8:30 PM, June 13th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I feel so sad for his family! I feel very sad for your resident, too. Residency is incredibly stressful under the best of circumstances. Add infidelity and filing for divorce and I don't know how she managed.

However, and this may sound callous, but, if it was going to happen, I'm glad it happened before the divorce was final, so the AP will not benefit from his death as far as life insurance, or inheritance issues go.

I thought the same thing.


Divorced - recovered and hoping to help.

"We're not broken, just bent, and we can learn to love again" ~Pink


Posts: 3095 | Registered: May 2004 | From: Midwest
SisterMilkshake
♀ 30024
Member # 30024
Default  Posted: 8:38 PM, June 13th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

With you around, purplejacket4, I am sure she will get all the help and support she needs. So very sorry that this sadness has entered your life, too.


BW (me) 50ish FWH 50ish
Married 34 years, 3 children
d-day 3/10 LTA (4 yrs./fucking & flirting)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak!" ~ Homer Simpson


Posts: 10083 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: The Great White North USA
doggiemom12
36041
Member # 36041
Default  Posted: 9:05 PM, June 13th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My STBX killed himself last year. We were still legally married so I got everything.

His 4 whores all had the gall to call me and two of them tried to get into his memorial service but were unable too. Classless bitches. I hope they are all very unhappy now.

The AP is very lucky to be alive at this point. Now she should fade into the woodwork like the cockroach she is.

Be supportive of your friend. She is going to have alot to get through for the next few months. She will find out who her husband really was and have to clean up the mess. But when that is done she has a chance at a real authentic life and she never has to worry about him again. I find that very comforting now almost 10 months out.

He did me a favor. I don't miss him.


White bird must fly or she will die . . .

Posts: 268 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: in divorce land
FeelsSoRight
♀ 28377
Member # 28377
Default  Posted: 7:15 AM, June 14th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That is very sad, but I was thinking same thing as painpaingoaway:

However, and this may sound callous, but, if it was going to happen, I'm glad it happened before the divorce was final, so the AP will not benefit from his death as far as life insurance, or inheritance issues go.

I'm also glad she has a good support system in all of you.


Me - W - 48
Him - H - 47
Together since we were 14/15
Married 27 yrs in August (renewed our vows in 2011-H's idea!)
DD-23, DS-15
Separated for 7 mos & were 3 wks from divorce when we reconciled
Happily R for almost 4 years

Posts: 1451 | Registered: Apr 2010 | From: MO
Holly-Isis
♀ 13447
Member # 13447
Default  Posted: 7:48 AM, June 14th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

PJ- I'm glad she has friends who have her back. Keep that...thing...away from the funeral if you can.

Add me to the number of people who thought at least the D wasn't final and the OW gets nothing from this.

I also seriously wondered if it wasn't murder rather than suicide.


"Being in love" first moved them to promise fidelity: this quieter love enables them to keep the promise. *CS Lewis*

Posts: 11335 | Registered: Jan 2007 | From: Just a fool in limbo
itainteasy
♀ 31094
Member # 31094
Default  Posted: 8:33 AM, June 14th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Add me to the group that thought "at least they were still legally married at time of death".

So sad. I hope the OW stays far, far away from the funeral.

How awful for the widow.

I'm so sorry for her and their families.


Posts: 3432 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: NWPA
purplejacket4
♀ 34262
Member # 34262
Default  Posted: 3:48 PM, June 15th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

His family acknowledged the AP in his obituary. Just blech.


Me: BS 45
Her: fWS 48 (same sex partner)
Together: 18 years now (both MDs)
OW: meh so what 40s PhD
DD1: 10/30/11EA; DD2: 11/10/11 Had ONS; TT until 12/26/11; broke NC 6/12; NC again 7/12; R-ish

Posts: 2354 | Registered: Dec 2011 | From: Great Southwest
gma56
♀ 19595
Member # 19595
Default  Posted: 3:52 PM, June 15th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

His family acknowledged the AP in his obituary. Just blech.

That is just plain sick ! They were still legally married !! WTH are they thinking ?

[This message edited by gma56 at 3:52 PM, June 15th (Saturday)]


BW-Divorced
It's my life now, my choices, my mistakes to make and my victories to celebrate. His choices made me free of liars and betrayers in my life. That is priceless.

Posts: 20387 | Registered: May 2008 | From: Closer to where I want to be..
Topic Posts: 21
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