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General :
Would an anti anxiety drug help me...

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 loveisareddress (original poster member #36474) posted at 10:36 PM on Thursday, June 13th, 2013

with constant nausea, racing thoughts, increasing heart rate and blood pressure from severe stress of being here?

I will never be able to acquire or hold down a job in this state of mind.

I can't leave until I have a job.

Scorched earth-Like Peter the Great, he burns up his own territory in order to gain the upper hand while his own people suffer.

I don't need you to be happy. I just need you to leave me alone when I am.

posts: 449   ·   registered: Aug. 14th, 2012
id 6373183
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njgal480 ( member #24938) posted at 10:38 PM on Thursday, June 13th, 2013

It helped me in the first few months after d-day.

Have you gone to see a doctor? and/or a IC?

Me- BS
Him- WH
Long term marriage
D-day- Jan. 2007
5 yr. LTA
Reconciled.

posts: 3174   ·   registered: Jul. 23rd, 2009   ·   location: NJ
id 6373189
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 loveisareddress (original poster member #36474) posted at 10:40 PM on Thursday, June 13th, 2013

I left a message with my endocrinologist.

Don't need IC. I'm not the one who has issues, he is.

IC will only give him something else to use against me.

Scorched earth-Like Peter the Great, he burns up his own territory in order to gain the upper hand while his own people suffer.

I don't need you to be happy. I just need you to leave me alone when I am.

posts: 449   ·   registered: Aug. 14th, 2012
id 6373197
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EasyDoesIt ( member #29514) posted at 10:40 PM on Thursday, June 13th, 2013

Xanax was a lifesaver for me and I was on a low dose, but it took the edge off. It sounds like you're having panic attacks. I've also taken Zoloft and, at one time, Paxil. Both are good meds for me. Go and see your doctor and explain the situation.

Anything less than full disclosure and total transparency is pure bullshit. WARNING! No emotional pollution allowed.

posts: 3756   ·   registered: Sep. 2nd, 2010   ·   location: Georgia
id 6373198
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Tripletrouble ( member #39169) posted at 10:42 PM on Thursday, June 13th, 2013

Lexapro and Xanax for emergencies have allowed me to function at work, as well as to sleep and generally get through the day.

40 somethings - me BW after 20 years
D Day April 2013
Divorced November 2013
Happily remarried 2018
Time is a great healer but a terrible beautician.

posts: 1175   ·   registered: May. 3rd, 2013
id 6373204
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EasyDoesIt ( member #29514) posted at 10:44 PM on Thursday, June 13th, 2013

I left a message with my endocrinologist.

Don't need IC. I'm not the one who has issues, he is.

IC will only give him something else to use against me.

Please reconsider this position. #1, ANYONE would have difficulty coping with the tragedy of betrayal. #2, My IC gave me tools to deal with the panic attacks and they worked wonderfully. It helped me come off of the Xanax., and #3, maybe you do have issues and that's why you're with someone who cheats on you (Personally, I have so many FOO issues that I'm a bad picker, seriously, I consistently pick assholes). I'm not saying it to hurt you, and I'm surely not saying that it's your fault you were cheated on, but it doesn't hurt to get another perspective and talk to a professional who can help put things in order in your head. <hugs> Infidelity is brutal and it sucks. It is a trauma. No one should be expected to go through it without some sort of support system.

Anything less than full disclosure and total transparency is pure bullshit. WARNING! No emotional pollution allowed.

posts: 3756   ·   registered: Sep. 2nd, 2010   ·   location: Georgia
id 6373210
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solus sto ( member #30989) posted at 10:51 PM on Thursday, June 13th, 2013

I'm not sure an endocrinologist is the doctor to see for psychiatric meds.

But yes, I think an antianxiety agent, perhaps in concert with an antidepressant (many of which also address anxiety) would be helpful.

As for IC "giving him something to use against me," he can really only do so with your consent. There is nothing maladaptive or negative about seeking counsel when betrayed. If you're battling anxiety, meds are a short-term solution; new coping tools are a long-term solution. IC can help you gather those tools.

BS-me, 62; X-irrelevant; we’re D & NC. "So much for the past and present. The future is called 'perhaps,' which is the only possible thing to call the future. And the important thing is not to let that scare you." Tennessee Williams

posts: 15630   ·   registered: Jan. 26th, 2011   ·   location: midwest
id 6373225
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 loveisareddress (original poster member #36474) posted at 10:52 PM on Thursday, June 13th, 2013

At this point, betrayal is nothing.

He is abusive.

I need to get out.

He is broken.

I can't fix him.

I can try and fix myself and get out while I'm still young enough to have some sort of a life.

I don't need IC to understand this.

I do need to manage my emotions and stress so I can start being pro active instead of stuck in this fear and stress induced inertia.

Scorched earth-Like Peter the Great, he burns up his own territory in order to gain the upper hand while his own people suffer.

I don't need you to be happy. I just need you to leave me alone when I am.

posts: 449   ·   registered: Aug. 14th, 2012
id 6373227
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2yrs+recovering ( member #31582) posted at 10:55 PM on Thursday, June 13th, 2013

Xanax was a life saver for me in the first year. I took a low dose and not on a regular schedule just when I really needed to feel normal and not jump out of my skin.

Weaned myself off of it and Ambien.

I still take an occasional Xanax, probably 3 times a month.

BS (me)60 FWH 72
Married 35 years
4 children and 3 grandchildren
5 yrs into R.
Now that he has changed and become the man he should have been all along, why should I start over?

posts: 563   ·   registered: Mar. 21st, 2011   ·   location: New Jersey
id 6373234
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Ladyogilvy ( member #31558) posted at 11:20 PM on Thursday, June 13th, 2013

Many of the perscription anti anxiety meds are hit and miss. Some can make things better and some can make things worse depending on the person. I had a bad reaction to a prescription med so I take L-Theanine as needed in the day time. It's an amino acid which helps take the edge off without slowing me down. For sleep, I take L-Tryptohan (another amino acid) or Melatonin Plus. Melatonin Plus comes in a big bottle with a low price from Costco. Valium helps as well bit I don't take it often because I don't want to become addicted. I only take it if L-Theanine isn't working.

[This message edited by Ladyogilvy at 9:50 PM, June 13th (Thursday)]

Me: BW 57. Him: alcoholic, sober now, WH 65Married stopped counting after too many disappointing anniversaries. Two sons, 24&25 years old. He's still keeping secrets and only admits to what I have indisputable evidence of.

posts: 1599   ·   registered: Mar. 19th, 2011   ·   location: California
id 6373277
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lilflower1000 ( member #36634) posted at 11:27 PM on Thursday, June 13th, 2013

I haven't read all of the advice here, but just be careful. I have tried some meds that made me wake up and want to put a gun to my head.However, I have heard that it can be quite helpful for many people. Your doctor is the one you need to speak to. Unfortunately, it seems like most docs just hand it out like candy without going over the possible side affects.

lilflower1000
Me: 51 BS
Married 19 years
Dday1: 8/1/2012 ( followed by multiple Ddays)
D-day2( AP#2):Easter-April 12 , 2020
4kids(18,16, 13, 8) + 2 grown Step kids I love like my own

posts: 414   ·   registered: Aug. 28th, 2012   ·   location: Georgia
id 6373283
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FeelingSoMuch ( member #38814) posted at 11:36 PM on Thursday, June 13th, 2013

Cipralex has been wonderful for me. It's helped with everything you mention here and it continues to allow me to focus at work.

I also find that IC is essential whether you're planning to stay or leave. It's keeping me sane.

Good luck and stay strong.

Me: BH
Her: WW
Together since 2001. Married since 2007. Found out about her affairs in 2013. Now separated, waiting for divorce paperwork and in a wonderful new relationship. Life is good again.

posts: 512   ·   registered: Mar. 26th, 2013   ·   location: Canada
id 6373298
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tushnurse ( member #21101) posted at 11:47 PM on Thursday, June 13th, 2013

Yes anti anxiety meds can be very helpful. I warn against Xanax many have a reverse reaction with it (particularly add types). It can also be very addictive. Ativan on the other hand seems to not have the issue with reverse reaction am tends to be easier to wean off. It is also a great sleep aid. If you are not sleeping that can contribute to the overall anxiety.

You may also find work to be a great escape. It helped to stop the cycle of overwhelming stress. It helped to keep me same.

I did not take an antidepressant as I didn't feel I was truly depressed but dealing with overwhelming grief. My Dr agreed.

((((and strength)))

Me: FBSHim: FWSKids: 23 & 27 Married for 32 years now, was 16 at the time.D-Day Sept 26 2008R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.

posts: 20380   ·   registered: Oct. 1st, 2008   ·   location: St. Louis
id 6373309
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