Blame, I'm a little worried how long it will be too. I really doesn't matter though, as I want to purge it all from my system.
It was surprising that once I started writing the things just came. Almost like the pen took on a life of it's own.
At the same time, I do know there are some of these things that H probably won't even remember. He was in really bad shape at the end on the A. He exhibited paranoia, mania, nightmares, and crippling depression. The dr suggested hospitalization, but he wouldn't agree to it. It was a brutal time
I realized I'm very angry and hurt by the fact that because of him being that way I ended up putting my own needs on hold to help him. I couldn't have both parent a pile of mess for our kids.
It's feeling good to do this. Almost like as I'm writing each one down I'm putting it in its grave and can let go. We'll see, but I'm hopeful. I feel like I finally have some control over the hurt.