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In the past, I was prone to panic attacks but could work through them. Long time spent thwarting them and IC and all that.

I am angry because they have returned and what I can pinpoint now is they come when I know Perv is in the vicinity or in contact electronically.

With the school year ending, DD has had lots of activities for me to attend and Perv is trying to be Model Dad and Model Citizen Perv again. I'm angry because I've had several occasions at the end of year events for her where I panic-literally-and have to hide. I also find myself just about running to get out of the place and it takes a good while to calm down once I'm home again.

With being pregnant this is not good, nor are antidepressants an option and I don't do well on them...I'm so angry that they have come back and wonder if any of you have them happen if you have to be in similar spots and possible contact with Ex's and if there's a timeline for how long this will last?

I had to post pone IC for a while because I cannot pay, and she only takes phone calls about one time before she will charge and I've used that already-and I understand bc it's her time and service.

I finally am not attracted to him any longer and have feelings of contempt and disgust, so I don't know why this is happening? He causes a confrontation during nearly every interaction, so am I maybe anticipating a problem?

Thank you for any ideas...I can't stand it.

(((Ash)))

Can you do any sort of exercise? Even walking?

I'm a big believer in setting yourself up for success. Now that the school year is over, can you work things out so that you don't have to see Perv? (Since you know he is the trigger?)

I've never suffered panic attacks, but in "Getting Past Your Breakup" she recommends a mantra that will hit the most primitive part of your brain (Have you read that book yet?) Can you repeat something like "I am fabulous and a great mom" to yourself to try to find off some of the anxiety?

You'll get there. I wish you were close so I could give you hugs in person!

I completely understand the panic attacks. I printed out a couple of copies of a horrible pic of his face and put one on a dart board and the other on my treadmill. I really did help to stomp on his face and hit him between the eyes! It made the panic attacks lessen for me. Good luck and hugs!

(((())))) My doc prescribed me a very low dose of Propranalol (a beta-blocker) for panic attacks, and my IC taught me the 'in for four, out for eight' breath, and both together helped me break the cycle of panic that I felt when anything difficult happened with STBXWH. Panic attacks are the pits, but they are very physical and once you know how the mechanism works you CAN control them.