We've gone to one marriage counseling session, and he has already lied there. He's gotten angry and blame-shifted his problems to me. I was so scared that I took my son and stayed at a friends house for the last few days. I've kicked him out of the house, and I'm now back home.
I'm tired, I'm heartbroken, and I'm so confused. My whole marriage has been a lie, and I had no idea, he hid his secret life so well. In hindsight he had always been selfish, and somewhat irresponsible, but I had no clue what was really going on.
He's still messing with my head by sending me texts saying he misses me. I think he misses having his cake and eating it too. I'm not longer willing to be a possession of his to use. And that makes him angry. I've seen rage and hate in his eyes.
He uses my Christian faith against me, even though he claims to be one himself. When DDay first happened, he told me that the bible said that I had to forgive him. At that moment I was so shocked, that I refrained from telling him what it said about lying and adultery.
What a mess!
Sending you strength and (((Hugs)))
P.S. I love your screenname
And a big (((hug))). I am so sorry that you have found yourself a member of this group.
Please also see a lawyer and find out what your rights are. You don't have to go any further than that at this time, but knowledge is power, and you have a small child to think of. You need to make sure that your child is protected "in case." (((hugs)))
D-Day, June 10, 2012
I would invest in IC for you. You need help getting your head wrapped around all of this horrible information and experience. I also urge you to get tested for STD's.
Even if he is a SA or narcissist; it is not an excuse to cheat and lie.
Don't let him guilt you into anything. Tell him to grow up and take responsibility for his HORRIBLE choices.
Being a Christian does not mean we have to settle for lies, betrayal and abuse. And he is mentally abusing you.
You are stronger than this. Do not let it define you.
Stay strong and keep moving. We are rooting for you.