I think an early warning would have changed both my actions and my FWH actions. If we had both been told who the OW was and what she had previously done, I think there is a good chance our history would be different. Who would not think twice if you were told she is a money, status, husband grabbing whore?
But, if she has new blood, the vampire goes away and leaves us alone. Blowing her cover brings us back into the crosshairs of her attention that we have spent 2 years trying to keep NC to get away from her. Ugh.
Married 30+ years
2 young adult children
OW single 20 years younger
Together trying to R
Freedom's just another word for nothin' left to lose