who has an affair because their wife quit being their drinking buddy
MY HUSBAND!! Twice. With both pregnancies. Actually, he never stopped.
Omg, you two sound like us!! We've been together 13 years. He says he always loved me and I'm strong too. I, too also wondered how the fuck could he love me????
Well, with weekly IC/MC, we are uncovering all the whys. Our MC's are great. One week he has has own session, then I have my own, and the following all four of us meet. It's truly working wonders for us.
But, back to the pain in your heart and head. I've been here for 7 months now.
SI vets here help break it down...so, with my H, he has this black hole addiction that he needs to fill. Mostly with alcohol, the OW were by products.
He was living in a fantasy, an escape from the reality of having a family and having to become a MAN, finally. He tells me himself, he didn't know how to do this. The infatuation they had with those OW was not love, IMO. It was a way to feel validated and have their egos stroked, because the good Lord knows WE couldn't do that for them. We were too busy taking care of our little ones and waiting to walk normal again after giving birth.
In the end, they ran from their responsibilities and did selfish things to fill the inner voids and struggles they have with THEMSELVES.
It had absolutely nothing to do with us.
I can see your a newbie, sweetie...keep posting and reading.
I too, asked that very question over and over in my mind, on here, to our MC, to him, etc. It can drive you crazy.
I still do the same, I love him and hate him in the same day. Of course, he "hurt" me. That's what I learned to tell him in therapy.
Fighting for the "us" is not easy, but if you have the love, drive, patience then you will make it together...
Good luck, brokenandconfused.
Big hug to you.