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In pain for not being ready

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missherlots posted 6/14/2013 09:44 AM

After 2 y of great and beautiful romance with intimate (besides sex) connection, the dream has come to an end. My SO broke up with me a couple months back.

I am lost in pain and miss the time we spent together in my or her house, long breakfasts and conversations about life and future trips or projects. I was all in but now I know she was always on the fence.

Heartbroken is a bit*&U^% feeling.

I gave myself to her in mind and flesh, I was the most loving and caring, loyal, considered and honest I have ever been. I opened up to her the most intimate thought of my inner self, but it was not enough.

I am suffering because of my incapacity to stop my XW my make my life impossible with SO.

I am taking responsibility of my lack of character to have strong boundaries with the mother of my children which used them to torture me while I was with me SO.
I have learned plenty of things in this relationship which I will use in my next relationship and hopefully, I'll be ready to honor the person and give everything again. Until that, I will be recovering for a while and taking care of myself because now I do need it.

I do not know if my capacity to love and give everything is a gift or a curse.

little turtle posted 6/14/2013 16:25 PM

Take some time to take care of yourself. (((mhl)))

jo2love posted 6/14/2013 16:39 PM


BrokenSpirit50 posted 6/15/2013 21:34 PM


Take time to regroup, you gave it your best and that is all you can do. Kudos to you for taking it as a learning experience. I'm just sorry that happened.

better4me posted 6/15/2013 22:27 PM

I'm sorry that it hurts, because you've suffered loss before, you know that this pain will heal with time and work. You know that it takes a lot of time.

I do not know if my capacity to love and give everything is a gift or a curse.
It is a gift. ((missherlots))

MyVoice posted 6/16/2013 08:59 AM


Catwoman posted 6/17/2013 18:16 PM

There are two things at issue here. One is that you cannot control your ex. The other is that there are steps you can take to enact consequences for this nutcase behavior. The first is on your SO to accept. It is not a failing of hers if she doesn't want to put up with it. We all have baggage and yours happens to be your nutcase ex.

But back to what you can control. What did you do to try and protect you and your SO. There are laws and processes you could have availed yourself of. What happened?

At the end of the day it is her decision. Frankly, having had a small taste of this sort of behavior in a long-ago relationship, I have very little tolerance for it.

I have even less tolerance for a person who doesn't take steps to shield their life and those of the folks in it from this nonsense.


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