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Newest Member: jaxonraine (61774)

User Topic: Picture found of OW!
♀ 39324
Member # 39324
Default  Posted: 9:50 AM, June 14th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I discovered a new picture today. I want to throw up. It is from a few months ago but it was accidentally saved in the cloud. I don't know if he realizes it was still there or if he thought he got rid of it. Regardless- I can't "un see" it now. The sucker punch is that she is very attractive. I have to admit it. WHY couldn't she just be ugly?

Dday 5-10-13
1 year + EA/PA (still TT)
Me- BW
Him- WH
M- 15 years
2 kiddos
Today's forecast is foggy with a chance of D.

"Better to be slapped with the truth than kissed with a lie"

Posts: 58 | Registered: May 2013 | From: hell on earth
Lost and Betraye
Member # 33988
Default  Posted: 9:59 AM, June 14th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ummm... She IS UGLY.

I don't want this to come accross as bragging, because I had nothing to do with it, but I am not ugly, I was blessed by God with good genes and a wonderful mother who raised me with this very important understanding..

Pretty is, is pretty does. It doesn't matter what you look like on the outside, it is what's on the inside that counts.

She is UGLY, where it matters most.

Me=BS 50; Him=WS 46; Dday 11/10/11
Married 13 years; together 20
Kids: DD11;(2) grown boys/men from my previous marriage to a WS
Status: Divorcing

"The past is a guidepost, not a hitching post" L Thomas Holdcroft

Posts: 317 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: CA
♀ 38924
Member # 38924
Default  Posted: 10:02 AM, June 14th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It really doesn't matter. At first I thought my H's OW were pretty, now I look at them like ugly slut losers who don't have a thing on me!

I think it has everything to do with you and how you are percieving them.

Plus, I've read here, where one woman's H slept with a porn star looking one and a fat one. IT ALL HURTS.

I just saw a new pic of one of my H's OW. It hurt me, too. :( But, I'm still awesome, way nicer, smarter, prettier than her! Ha.

Me-37 Ws-37
2 kids
Dday Nov 2012, TT for a year.
Reconciling for the third time in 4 years.

Posts: 972 | Registered: Apr 2013
♀ 29288
Member # 29288
Default  Posted: 10:08 AM, June 14th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Let me assure you that this is a no-win situation. The OW in my case was not the least bit attractive and I used to tell my FWH that I wished she was, because I at least could have understood it if he had taken up with a young attractive woman, but her? Yuck! I am so much more attractive--and it wasn't enough. Attractive or unattractive, either way it sucks.

LostandBetrayed is right anyway. Her outward looks are just a facade. Inside she is ugly and dark as dirt.

Me--BW (57)
Him--FWH (54)--5yr. LTA--OW probably BPD
Married 21 years
DS-19, DD-16
Reconciling--but boy is it hard!

Posts: 1655 | Registered: Aug 2010
♀ 27196
Member # 27196
Default  Posted: 10:53 AM, June 14th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Regardless of the 'shell' that covers it, black hearts are NOT pretty.

Me, BS, 58
Him, WS 61
D-Day June 2009
Watch my movie: "My wayward husband's adventures in STD land":
Episode 1:
Episode 2:

Posts: 7192 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Coastal South
♀ 34713
Member # 34713
Default  Posted: 11:00 AM, June 14th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The OW in my marriage isnt ugly looking. Thin, dresses seductive,loves to party, long jet black hair. Is into ANYTHING, I found a picture of her in his truck right after R, she wasnt dressed in her regular small slutty clothes, she was dressed half way to looking like a lady. THAT is the picture he had? I think WH was trying to make her the whole package,lady in church but a freak in the bed type thing.
The reality IS she is a slut all the time, ugly inside no matter how hard he tried to think differently. It dosent matter what they look like (although I too wish she was FUGLY) It dosent matter what they offered, they arent US! She wasnt me, and he came back to his pretty yet chubby wife. I AM a lady,I am kind, loving, honest,faithful. Apparently I AM THE WHOLE PACKAGE.

Treat others as you want to be treated

Posts: 296 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Texas
♀ 38619
Member # 38619
Default  Posted: 11:17 AM, June 14th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

As others have said, it doesn't matter how pretty the package is if the contents are rotting. Eventually the stink will overpower anyone that comes within sniffing distance.

[This message edited by Mack9512 at 11:18 AM, June 14th (Friday)]

"If you're brave enough to say goodbye, life will reward you with a new hello." - Paulo Coehlo

Posts: 440 | Registered: Mar 2013 | From: East Coast
♀ 38377
Member # 38377
Default  Posted: 11:22 AM, June 14th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have both, the fugly wicked witch of the west MOW and the Miss America gorgeous 21-year-old twink. I'm much less upset by the twink since she's so stupid and naive and never met my kids.. But the MOW is so horrid inside and out. Even if she was pretty, her actions are so despicable..

I get you about wanting to "unsee" it. I found a pic of MOW's close up twat on his phone during false R.

Sending you some hugs and mental eye bleach. Everyone is right, it doesn't matter what she looks like.. It's not a reason or explanation for why he lied and deceived you..

xBW~ 37
Two DS~ 9 and 13

Posts: 3120 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: USA
♀ 39217
Member # 39217
Default  Posted: 11:35 AM, June 14th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I agree with the other...inside is ugly
Also it doesn't matter what they look like it just changes the label on the hurt. I told wh that I would have felt better if she was pretty because I just feel like he downgraded & it is super embarasing etc but then he was communicating with a "pretty" one & that hurt because "I'm not attractive enough" came up

There is no winning when you are a bs

WH 29
1 Child
Married 11 yrs
D-Day: 4/9/13 he cheated in '08 & now + trickle truth & tons of lies 6/27 Found more, swears I really do have the whole truth now.
2/2/14 found out seems the TT never ends.
Trying to R

Posts: 71 | Registered: May 2013
♀ 39214
Member # 39214
Default  Posted: 11:48 AM, June 14th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

wh one night stand was what he said pretty average not ugly but not beautiful .....(he says im far more beautiful than she) id like to believe that though but i never saw her . he says there wasnt much to her just really thin blond not much of a butt or boobs just small. does it make me feel better that he thought she wasnt as pretty as me ehhh idk not really i do i wish she was way uglier yea but then that would confuse me because my WH is extremely good looking .....and well im beautiful i think i have a very unique face and hips and butt that my WH adores and not to be boastful but i love when the WH hates and gets red hot that men notice his favorite parts of my body.

ugly or pretty doesnt change anything i think have a face to the enemy just hurts plain and simple .



Posts: 278 | Registered: May 2013
♀ 38511
Member # 38511
Default  Posted: 11:52 AM, June 14th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yep, she is UGLY

Me, 47 BS
H, 65 WH
2 boys 23 and 18 years old
Married 24 years

Posts: 523 | Registered: Feb 2013
♀ 38384
Member # 38384
Default  Posted: 11:53 AM, June 14th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


Right on Copingdaily!

Me: 44
He: 47 WH
Married: 15 years
D Day: December 2012
Affair: Fall 2009 - Dec. 2011
R is not linear

Posts: 3439 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Canada, eh
Member # 34827
Default  Posted: 12:30 PM, June 14th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I wouldn't base too much off of a picture. They aren't always accurate and if ow put the pic out there, you can guarantee she picked the one that didn't show any faults she thinks
she has. I know its still a kick in the stomach to see a face matched to the pain of the A but she's got nothing on
you and even if she looked like a super model she's butt ass ugly on the inside.

[This message edited by Ostrich80 at 12:31 PM, June 14th (Friday)]
Been with him over half my life
DD1 10-01-09 DD2 02-12-12 discovered it never ended
OW..nothing special. Just your average skank

Posts: 5738 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: midwest
♀ 39523
Member # 39523
Default  Posted: 1:34 PM, June 14th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

it doesn't matter what they look like cause some men will literally sex anything with a vagina. If these women were real catches, someone would have married them. My hubby's OW looked like aunt Bee and she was 38 years old. I kid you not! There is nothing wrong with looking like Aunt Bee when you are aunt Bee's age, but she was 38. Does it make me feel better that she was ugly, no. It makes him look more pathetic.

Posts: 180 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: United States
♀ 38378
Member # 38378
Default  Posted: 1:44 PM, June 14th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

OW in Perv's case is very, very large and very, very plain...kind of in an '80's way.

And I agree, I think the inside of a person's mind and heart matter more, but I understand the esteem problems an A can bring us, too.

FWIW, I have a neighbor who's been supportive and she's a BS also (no internet there, so no SI, but she'd be good for the site...anyway...

She is downright gorgeous, tall and blond with large doe eyes and still got cheated on. I am basically opposite her and got cheated on. I think our outsides don't always matter, I think it's more related to standards and morals.

I will say, that I've been reached out to by an Ex of about 25 years ago, who has contacted me electronically before. He gives the same song and dance of a guy looking for an OW, "my wife is awful but I can't leave her because she's ill" and so on...

I told him several times "where to go" and gave him a NC letter as well and cried for his wife. Now, he was a BF of mine as a teenager and cheated on me with his wife. Now contacting me again, especially in this time?

It's a little of track of the original post, but I was trying to say that I do think it can be just an easy mark and person willing to be manipulated and so on.

I was very proud, suffice to say, with my lonlieness so huge and needs so much, that still I kept my standards and said, "go away."

Why couldn't OW do that when she learned Perv was M?

And back to FallDown, don't forget that your esteem may be low right now so you might view her temporarily as attractive, but maybe later you won't?

And why do we have this curiosity about a person who helped change and ruin our lives, anyway?

Ashland 13

A person is a person, no matter how small. -Dr. Suess

Perserverance and spirit have done wonders in all ages.

-George Washington

Posts: 3034 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: New England
Topic Posts: 15

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