I usually only post when I’m freaking out about something, the good typically gets left on the cutting room floor. Then there are other times when happenings are just embarrassing little melt downs and I’d sooner forget than be handed a dozen 2x4s.
Just curious, what things make you all too shy to post?
I was too shy to post about my current SO/relationship for a long time because I started it too soon. While I don't think it was too soon to date, it was too soon to be in a relationship and meet a guy that I could fall in love with. Luckily I was IC throughout the first 1.5 yrs of my relationship and he was 1 hr away and we only saw each other EOW (when we didn't have our kids). And he can't text on his work phone, so we had to have real conversations Honestly it all sounded too good to be true and I wouldn't believe it if someone else had posted about it. But I think he is great, my friends and family think he is great, his friends and family do and his ex's friends and family love him too (his ex's BF is the one who actually set us up in the beginning).
I had one of those embarrassing melt downs a few weeks ago. SO had gone to Vegas for a long weekend for a bachelor party. I trust him and hadn't had any concerned thoughts leading up to the trip. But I stupidly decided that it would be a good time to let mother nature run it's course. Needless to say, my hormones turned me into a psycho. "I bet he's cheating on me right now" "Now I will have to breakup with him" "How am I going to get all my stuff back" ect. Luckily, I realized what was going on and kept myself busy so I didn't act on my psycho thought (calling him every 5 min accusing him of cheating) and once my hormones leveled out I was fine again.
It's a jungle out there.... Being out of the dating world for a quarter of a century and being back in it is not for the faint of heart...
I talk about how great he was and that is why I dated him and now I am super sad about the break up.
OR, I highlight the reasons it ended and then I am wondering why I even dated him in the first place...
Not that there has been a lot to write about mind you. But that is my thought process when I get my toes even near the water... you know, if it looks like rain and I am barefoot.
I just feel....ehhh. I'm taking a break from IC for the summer, I pulled my dd out of IC. My IC said I've been dealing with really intense stuff for a long time and I just need a break.
3 boys: 11, 9, and 1.
There isn't usually anything to post. We're pretty boring.
I wouldn't call getting engaged boring Congrats!
But then I'd have to delete my post about how well I'm doing after my 6th antiversary--and that's against the rules
Me: FBS (no longer betrayed nor a spouse)-62
D-day: 2007 (two years before finding SI)
S: 6/2010; D: 3/2011
I did not, however, post about my not so bright recent decision to "be friends" which after only about four days did not work out well. (Pretty much ended up as a last fling together). There is a reason for NC. Repeat - there is a reason for NC. (Inset "Palm to forehead" here) Yes, that's a bit embarrassing because, let's face it, I knew better...
Status: D 2011
Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron
It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K. Rowling
I posted about the end of my relationship...then pulled the stupid card and started seeing him again. I'm seeing the same things I was unhappy with immediately.
I feel so weak that I did this.
I didn't want to share with SI because you were all supportive when it was ending.
I feel so messed up.
I've had more than a few complications with some casual romances. They wanted more than casual - I am not ready for it. Even if I was it wouldn't be with these guys.
I wanted to post here for perspectives and also to rant about them but thought better of it.
I was upfront with these guys that I wasn't interested in a relationship further than FWB. I thought we were on the same page.
Being honest upfront doesn't mean feelings don't get hurt. People will get attached no matter how clear you make it that you don't want attachment.
I've sort of stepped away from it all. The drama outweighed the benefits. I don't know that it hindered my healing but it certainly didn't make me feel like a good person.
Basically I don't post here about it because I know that the 2x4s I'd get would be spot on and absolutely right. Right now I hate the damned bus more than I hate knowing that they are right.
[This message edited by StrongButBroken at 7:59 PM, June 14th (Friday)]
Funny timing with this thread because he is meeting my sister and her husband tonight ,up to now he hasn't meet anyone I know. I've been very very cautious and he has been every very patient. But it's got to the point I can't wait for everyone to meet him.
I guess soon I'll put up a post about him, to share another story about some happiness in our new beginnings and how I found him on OLD
I usually only post when I’m freaking out about something, the good typically gets left on the cutting room floor.
Me too, and Aussie is a great guy, but, I don't start posts about things like the fact he brings me flowers every Friday because, I don't think anyone cares, and I don't want to seem like I'm bragging.
I try not to post about the bad anymore either. We had an issue at the beginning of the year, and I knew if I'd posted I would get 2x4s, but, what would be the point? I'm married to him, I wasn't going to leave over this issue, so, I didn't need 2x4s. And, I don't post about how well he's done at resolving the issue because, I'm afraid it would be all "well, why was this even an issue ever?" Well...because nobody is perfect. I did post about triggering and how I was handling it and how he handled it, and how he was actually enforcing boundaries we had, and I kind of got told I shouldn't have those boundaries and to get over it. Even though both he and I were ok with it, and I was thrilled with the steps he took. So, I keep quiet about the bad now as well mostly.
We don't have much drama now, meaning issues to handle, so, I either want to vent when I'm frustrated or brag when I'm excited and don't feel comfortable doing either.
It will all be ok in the end. If it's not ok, it's not the end
Happily remarried to a wonderful man (Aussie). I think I found the right guy and the right finger this time.
Mostly I think it is because I'm doing pretty well right now and need to do less venting or complaining or crying (we'll see how long that lasts ) SI was my only lifeline for so long and I have found other lifelines IRL to compliment this one.
To all of you who don't post the happy stuff because you think it sounds like "bragging" please reconsider. I love hearing about your happy news because it gives me hope!!
My marriage turned out to be mostly great, with the exception of about 2.5 years of infidelity misery and his way too low libido. So far my new relationship with my SO/roomate is going in an excellent fashion!
Really, there's no relationship issues to post about. I could whine about the LD part and missing SO a lot, but that's not going to make anything change. And if I posted too much about the good stuff, I'd feel like I was bragging and hogging the forum.
As for other type of issues and not posting, yep, I'm guilty of that. I sat on some issues I was having for months and months, and didn't post about it because I felt whiny and pathetic and depressed. Once I finally did post, the support I got was remarkable and made a huge difference in how I was feeling, btw.
First, I would need to want to start dating again.