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So what's the proper response?

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KeepOnMovin posted 6/14/2013 13:54 PM

Whats the proper response when a friend (girlfriend or wife) says shes fat or asks if she looks fat? i.e. I look fat when Im standing next to you.

simplydevastated posted 6/14/2013 13:59 PM

Just say "no you don't honey, I'm the one who looks fat standing next to you." Then run out of the room before she can ask another "fat" question.

lost_in_toronto posted 6/14/2013 14:00 PM

"I was just thinking how beautiful you look standing next to me."

Tred posted 6/14/2013 14:02 PM

Look puzzled and say "What cat planning to poo?"

Sad in AZ posted 6/14/2013 14:04 PM

"You never look fat to me."

simplydevastated posted 6/14/2013 14:04 PM

How about "you are more beautiful today than the day we were married."

KeepOnMovin posted 6/14/2013 14:18 PM

What if she's not really a girlfriend, but just an interested acquaintance? New beginning kind of thing...

Rebreather posted 6/14/2013 14:36 PM

"So put down the cheeseburger" isn't the right answer, right?

Kidding!

I think something like "I was just thinking how lovely you look" is the right choice.

Crescita posted 6/14/2013 15:12 PM

I prefer no response. I'm usually not looking for confirmation, validation, or advice, just thinking out loud. To me it just means I should keep an eye on my fitness, or this outfit doesn't work for me. As long as I have a healthy idea in my head, and know what looks good on me, other's opinions aren't going to carry much weight.

My SO has tried every response in the book, I think he is trying to break me of my habit of calling myself fat but to me its more hyperbole than anything.

jrc1963 posted 6/14/2013 15:15 PM

Look her up and down thoughtfully and say... "Well, you could stand to exercise." Then run like hell!!!

J/K

Whatever you say, make sure there is NO hesitation at all!

"You never look fat to me."

Personally I hate this one... not sure why.

KeepOnMovin posted 6/14/2013 15:31 PM

When STBX used to say those kinds of things; "I look fat" or "I feel fat", I always responded, "You look just perfect to me." But it wasn't really quite good enough I guess.

simplydevastated posted 6/14/2013 15:40 PM

That would be perfect for me.

SuperDuperWonderboy posted 6/14/2013 15:46 PM

LA44 posted 6/15/2013 19:25 PM

How about, "You always look great to me." If this is met with another protest you can add, "Well, if you are concerned about your weight there are so many options out there."

Sometimes I wish people would focus on solutions more then throwing out the awkward comment and letting it hang there for others to deal with!

[This message edited by LA44 at 7:26 PM, June 15th (Saturday)]

Amazonia posted 6/16/2013 08:28 AM

"You are a beautiful woman and I wouldn't want you to change a thing" has gotten pretty good reactions from me. Depending on the situation you can swap "beautiful" for "sexy" but with an interested acquaintance, that would probably hurt you more than help you.

karmahappens posted 6/16/2013 09:09 AM

You are perfect the way you are.

and depending on who it is I follow it with an I love you.

I have been on the fat side and thin side, body/weight issues suck.

solus sto posted 6/16/2013 11:38 AM

What do you think the proper response is?

It's NOT,

Well, if you are concerned about your weight there are so many options out there."
That is for another conversation---and there will be an opening for that, if that's the real concern.

"I look fat," means, "please tell me I am beautiful."

The proper response is, "You look beautiful."

sadcat posted 6/16/2013 20:37 PM

The correct response to this (and related questions) is always "You look great!" Or "you are beautiful!"

Hearthache again posted 6/16/2013 20:56 PM

As a women I find this odd of other women to say. I have never asked this of my spouse or thought this.

Why do some women ask these questions?

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