Sounds like our H's might have been friends...read my tag lines... I actually found out in November 2012, same as your registration date.
I made my H get a new job bc that's where his A's took place and started. He used to be a bartender. With your FWH going to school, that seems tough. Couldn't he go online??
The steps that helped me most was to give him very specific boundaries. He already went NC with all of them and attempted his sobriety several times. He knows he can NEVER be the guy who just has one drink. He got a new job, new phone, new number, new friends, new priorities.
And, 180. I'm big on 180 right now. In my mind I say fuck him, even though I love him. But, I can only be strong and have love for him if I first have it for myself.
Also, realizing I'm not the broken one and it's not my fault because I'm awesome. lol. This is huge, too.
Finally, I think the hardest is IC, I have FOO issues that are apparently messing up our R. So, we're both in IC/MC to work on ourselves FIRST, then "us." Good luck sweetie.
I'm 7 months out.
Also are you two seeing chemical dependency MC's? That helps understand the addictions.
[This message edited by libertyrocks at 3:57 PM, June 14th (Friday)]