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Newest Member: Saad (61538)

User Topic: How do you rebuild self-confidence?
♂ 31089
Member # 31089
Default  Posted: 11:26 PM, June 14th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I would guess that the steps to rebuilding self confidence is the same regardless of what causes the lack. In most areas of my life, I am reasonably confident. The areas I am confident are those areas in which I have been successful, which is almost everything that doesn't have much to do with my wife (ie..., those things I have done without her or her assistance).

I guess just generally speaking, how do you rebuild self-confidence? Is this one in the same with self-esteem?

Posts: 1279 | Registered: Feb 2011
♀ 31558
Member # 31558
Default  Posted: 11:45 PM, June 14th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't know about self esteem building but just making myself feel better, nurturing myself, taking care of myself... Exercise, special soaps and lotions, taking my boys camping and doing other fun and educational things with them.

I took a community college piano class with one of my sons last semester. It was not good for my self confidence. I was a nervous wreck and a bad example to my son. He sauntered into every class with complete confidence despite my nervous incompetence.

I couldn't have been completely incompetent. It turns out we both for an A in the class. I guess that should boost my confidence some. I'm still deciding whether or not to take the next class with him. I'm also thinking about taking voice. I am terrified to sing alone in front of people but it's something I'd like to overcome. I did take a singing workshop with him earlier this year and I survived singing in public at the end of class then. Maybe I should keep working on it.

My son is a real musician, fiddle player, singer and professional story teller. So, we are always at music events and part of the music community. my mother could sing and play piano and guitar with confidence. Those were some of the great things about her. I wish I could be more like her in those ways. I see so much of her in my son. They would have adored each other.

The one thing I feel very confident about is my parenting. My boys and I are very close, even if I can't remember the words to the lullabyes my mother sang to me.

Me: BW a youthful 51
Him: alcoholic, sober now, WH 58
Married 21 years
Two sons, 18 & 19 years old
DD? He's still keeping secrets and only admits to what I have indisputable
evidence of... the $2000 earrings he bought her for x-mas.

Posts: 1585 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: California
Sad in AZ
♀ 24239
Member # 24239
Default  Posted: 12:19 AM, June 15th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Self-confidence is your public persona; self-esteem is your personal persona. They don't have to be mutually exclusive, but they can be.

Rebuilding your self-confidence takes moxie--you have to get out there and act confidently; it can be a 'fake it till you make it' scenario. Self-esteem is another matter; you have to really like yourself and not give a shit what others think.

You are important and you matter. Your feelings matter. Your voice matters. Your story matters. Your life matters. Always.

Me: FBS (no longer betrayed nor a spouse)-62
Him: WXH-62
D-day: 2007 (two years before finding SI)
S: 6/2010; D: 3/2011

Posts: 25302 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Arizona
♂ 16953
Member # 16953
Default  Posted: 3:01 AM, June 15th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ask yourself this question. How did I become confident in the areas I have mentioned ? And your answer most likely will be because you never gave up and always worked hard on those traits. Practice makes perfect. Start off with one fault or weakness you have. Work on that until you master it. Then move on to the next. Pretty soon your up to speed.

You cant eat soup with chopsticks.

Posts: 6851 | Registered: Nov 2007
Topic Posts: 4

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