SurvivingInfidelity.com Forum Archives

abigailadams posted 6/14/2013 23:57 PM

My PA STBX wants split our DDs add ons i.e. childcare and unreimbursed medical 50/50 though the law in New York State is very clear that this is done on a pro rata basis which would be 60/40 with him paying the larger share. It isn't that much money in the long run but it makes me so mad that he feels he can just do whatever he wants and set the terms how he wants it. He left me a check in the mailbox today for 50% of Junes add-ons though I have not agreed to this. Is this worth getting my lawyer to call his? I am so mad.

And this weekend, like many of you, my DD has her last soccer game, a piano recital and a dance performance. I get to see stbx at all three events. Really the first time we will both be going to any of our DDs events since the fall. I am dreading it.

phmh posted 6/15/2013 05:49 AM

Do not let him get away with 50% as you don't want to set a precedent.

Depending on your stbx and your relationship with him I'd either send him an e-mail:

"STBX,

I saw that you dropped off a check for $50. The laws in our state are clear that, because you make 60% of the income, you must pay for 60% of the add-ons. That means you owe $60 for June; you are $10 short. Please pay me the difference by June 25.

If I don't see the money by then, I'll have my lawyer contact yours, but I'd rather not have both of us incur that additional expense.

Thanks!

AA"

OR, if it's going to upset you too much to have this conversation with him, just go directly to your lawyer, though it will cost you, especially if you think he might comply on his own.

Good luck! Don't let him get away with it, though!!!

sparkysable posted 6/15/2013 07:42 AM

Is your divorce final? I am in NY, and yes I agree that it would be pro/rata. However, even though based on our income it would have been more like 80/20, I agreed to 50/50 because I got some other things in the final agreement that I ordinarily wouldn't have gotten because he was so focused on this "win", I actually won overall.

abigailadams posted 6/16/2013 02:54 AM

Thanks phmh and sparkysable, I am not sure what to do. the divorce is not final. We are working on the separation agreement right now. I don't want to set a president where he just decides whatever he wants and goes with it. On the other hand, he has agreed to a high number for the CS and I don't want to rock the boat too much.