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Newest Member: Questiounanswere (45696)

User Topic: Feeling like sh*t....
sunflowergirl30
♀ 28979
Member # 28979
Default  Posted: 8:43 AM, June 15th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Last night my daughter(17) wanted to go hang out w/ a friend of hers whos 20. I dont care much for this girl and think she is a bad influence. I have tried to explain this to my daughter and tried to politely and not so politely talk to the girl. At 20 shes at a different point in her life and has a lot more freedom. My daughter is graduating monday and feels like she is grown. It is so frustrating. I feel like I have no support from wh he threw his hands up and told her she could do whatever the fuck she wants. He is sick of her disrespect and anger. Yes, our daughter is angry and began rebelling right around the beginning of wh affair. He was cold, distant and down right mean and shitty to me and our girls for several months during his affair. Our oldest daughter was 14 when she found out. Wh has never acknowledged to either of our daughters how he hurt them and betrayed them. I told wh to talk to Our daughter she needs to tell him how she feels and for the last 3 yrs she hasnt and has been afraid to. He finally did...he asked our daughter if she had something she needed to say...through tears she said,"im mad at you angry at you!" She then said,"you were the perfect dad and then you ruined everything!"..."why did you cheat on mom? Why did you hurt us?"

Wh cut her off and said," ya i know i fucked up but i blame your mom for you knowing a lot of things about it because she argued about it in front of you and your sister.

Well..ya I did. Wh refused to talk about it EVER! I tried to talk away from the house, tried to talk when kids weren't home. It was like pulling teeth from a lion! Did I handle it right? No! But for fuck sake it was his second affair with the same fucking woman! I rug swept and kept it a secret the first time! I wasnt doing that again and thats what he wanted!

So the conversation pretty much ended. I had hoped he would listen to her and let her vent. I had hoped he would apologize to her and acknowledge her pain. He didn't. Our daughter has said to me that its hard for her to respect her dad after what he did and how he treated me and also her and her sister...that she sees he continues to be an asshole and just wants to act like what he did, didnt change or hurt anyone. He goes on and on about how hurt HE IS. What HE has lost. Yet he chose to cheat! She says...she has to deal with loser, liar guys and its messed up she knows her dad is a user and a liar and is willing to saying anything to get in someones pants. It doesnt help that the mow wh cheated with was in my children's lives. We knew her for over a yr. my children liked her, looked up to her. Met one of her kids. Then to find out this woman was with their dad and set out to take their dad and help him "end his unhappy marriage".....

Did I handle this shit storm well? No. But I'm fed up with being blamed by wh and fed up with his behavior and shitty attitude. Why cant we all just get over it! Stop making him out to be a shitty guy, because he is not a bad guy....why cant we all just trust, him and respect him? Wtf, seriously.

He's never going to get it. He's not deep enough and lacks the character.

Bad night...more poor him.


Fate is a fickle bitch who dotes on irony.
Wh-lying, cheater now 37
Me- crazy bs now 38
2 teens and a dog
Mow- married old whore now 50


1st D-day EA w/mow our realtor 4-?-2007, 2nd D-day PA w/ same mow 5-29-2010


Posts: 1107 | Registered: Jul 2010 | From: Pacific Northwest
osxgirl
♀ 8795
Member # 8795
Default  Posted: 8:57 AM, June 15th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sheesh. It's all about him, isn't it?

In this situation, who is "at fault" for things that happened in the past do NOT matter in the least. Your DD didn't care who exposed what to her - just that your WH's behavior has affected her.

And instead of acknowledging HER feelings, he made it all about him and how it wasn't his fault because she wouldn't have known anything to be hurt about if it weren't for you.

Total BS, for starters. But it show that he didn't listen to her and didn't care what she is thinking/feeling. Just wanted to use it as another soapbox to proclaim how wronged HE is in all of this.

He's sick of her disrespect and anger? Maybe he should show her some respect by acknowledging that his actions have had an effect on her if he wants some respect from her.

[This message edited by osxgirl at 8:57 AM, June 15th (Saturday)]


Posts: 2410 | Registered: Nov 2005 | From: Maryland
nowiknow23
♀ 33226
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 1:49 PM, June 15th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((sunflower))))


You can call me NIK

"If you carry joy in your heart, you can heal any moment."
- Carlos Santana


Posts: 26098 | Registered: Aug 2011
SisterMilkshake
♀ 30024
Member # 30024
Default  Posted: 2:07 PM, June 15th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((sunflowergirl))) I am sorry. I am so sorry you feel like crap most of the time.

Are you getting your ducks in a row? Please tell me you have a plan in place and that you're actively working on getting your ducks in a row.

Your WH maybe remorseful (?) but he isn't willing to make any meaningful changes. You are going to feel like this always if you don't make the changes.


BW (me) 50ish FWH 50ish
Married 34 years, 3 children
d-day 3/10 LTA (4 yrs./fucking & flirting)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak!" ~ Homer Simpson


Posts: 9951 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: The Great White North USA
sunflowergirl30
♀ 28979
Member # 28979
Default  Posted: 8:22 PM, June 15th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I dont know what Im doing. I feel stuck and miserable. Wh sent me this text about 30min. Ago:


Well I feel pretty shitty right now Sunflowergirl.....And alot of it's cuz u always wanted to fight and argue while they were home and they heard shit that they didn't need to hear ever

Cuz ya I wanted to act like a lunatic. I wanted to hurt my children...bastard


Fate is a fickle bitch who dotes on irony.
Wh-lying, cheater now 37
Me- crazy bs now 38
2 teens and a dog
Mow- married old whore now 50


1st D-day EA w/mow our realtor 4-?-2007, 2nd D-day PA w/ same mow 5-29-2010


Posts: 1107 | Registered: Jul 2010 | From: Pacific Northwest
Topic Posts: 5

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