Last night my daughter(17) wanted to go hang out w/ a friend of hers whos 20. I dont care much for this girl and think she is a bad influence. I have tried to explain this to my daughter and tried to politely and not so politely talk to the girl. At 20 shes at a different point in her life and has a lot more freedom. My daughter is graduating monday and feels like she is grown. It is so frustrating. I feel like I have no support from wh he threw his hands up and told her she could do whatever the fuck she wants. He is sick of her disrespect and anger. Yes, our daughter is angry and began rebelling right around the beginning of wh affair. He was cold, distant and down right mean and shitty to me and our girls for several months during his affair. Our oldest daughter was 14 when she found out. Wh has never acknowledged to either of our daughters how he hurt them and betrayed them. I told wh to talk to Our daughter she needs to tell him how she feels and for the last 3 yrs she hasnt and has been afraid to. He finally did...he asked our daughter if she had something she needed to say...through tears she said,"im mad at you angry at you!" She then said,"you were the perfect dad and then you ruined everything!"..."why did you cheat on mom? Why did you hurt us?"
Wh cut her off and said," ya i know i fucked up but i blame your mom for you knowing a lot of things about it because she argued about it in front of you and your sister.
Well..ya I did. Wh refused to talk about it EVER! I tried to talk away from the house, tried to talk when kids weren't home. It was like pulling teeth from a lion! Did I handle it right? No! But for fuck sake it was his second affair with the same fucking woman! I rug swept and kept it a secret the first time! I wasnt doing that again and thats what he wanted!
So the conversation pretty much ended. I had hoped he would listen to her and let her vent. I had hoped he would apologize to her and acknowledge her pain. He didn't. Our daughter has said to me that its hard for her to respect her dad after what he did and how he treated me and also her and her sister...that she sees he continues to be an asshole and just wants to act like what he did, didnt change or hurt anyone. He goes on and on about how hurt HE IS. What HE has lost. Yet he chose to cheat! She says...she has to deal with loser, liar guys and its messed up she knows her dad is a user and a liar and is willing to saying anything to get in someones pants. It doesnt help that the mow wh cheated with was in my children's lives. We knew her for over a yr. my children liked her, looked up to her. Met one of her kids. Then to find out this woman was with their dad and set out to take their dad and help him "end his unhappy marriage".....
Did I handle this shit storm well? No. But I'm fed up with being blamed by wh and fed up with his behavior and shitty attitude. Why cant we all just get over it! Stop making him out to be a shitty guy, because he is not a bad guy....why cant we all just trust, him and respect him? Wtf, seriously.
He's never going to get it. He's not deep enough and lacks the character.
Bad night...more poor him.