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Need SI mojo - I need to stay focused

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TattoodChinaDoll posted 6/15/2013 10:38 AM

I'm going to a baby shower today for a good friend (the only one who knows everything). When I got the invitation I went back and forth and back and forth about going. I know it's going to be difficult. I'm going to be emotionally exhausted after. And like I said in one of my previous posts, I don't have a soft place to land. I obviously don't have the support of a loving husband. I need some good SI mojo floating in the universe. I need to come home from this party remembering why I'm in this forum and that I'm deserving of so much better. I'm allowing myself to be sad, unlike him. But I need to stay focused.

FaithFool posted 6/15/2013 10:45 AM

(((TCD))) I hope some the joy of the others who are going to honour your BFF bleeds into your world just a little.

You're very brave to go. I totally get why you would want/need to stay away from things like that.

jo2love posted 6/15/2013 10:46 AM

(((TCD)))

Sending you mojo, strength, and good thoughts.

caregiver9000 posted 6/15/2013 11:36 AM

SI mojo!!!

You are a good person. You are very brave and kind. Stay focused, because all of those positive things YOU are-- YOU deserve in your life as well!!

jjct posted 6/15/2013 11:41 AM

mojo baby!
*what cg said*

nowiknow23 posted 6/15/2013 11:49 AM

Sending you love and strength, honey. ((((TCD))))

TattoodChinaDoll posted 6/15/2013 12:27 PM

jo2love posted 6/15/2013 12:31 PM

(((((TCD)))))

Honey, I can't imagine going to a baby shower so soon after what you've been through. The fact that you are attending shows you do have strength. Please know that we are your soft place to land. Lean on us. Get it all out.

Kajem posted 6/15/2013 13:18 PM

(((((TCD)))))

Let SI be your soft place to land... we are here for you.

Sending strength and love your way.

Hugs, too.

K

Tripletrouble posted 6/15/2013 13:28 PM

Lots of love and hugs to you. Please do something nice for yourself this weekend.

AppleBlossom posted 6/15/2013 15:09 PM

Sending you all the love and hugs in the world. We are here for you.

tesla posted 6/15/2013 19:34 PM

((((TCD))))
Hope you are doing ok.
We are here for you.

jo2love posted 6/15/2013 20:44 PM

(((TCD)))

How are you doing?

TattoodChinaDoll posted 6/15/2013 20:59 PM

I'm tired. I feel like I just need to have a good cry but I've stopped myself so many times that I feel choked up and can't get a cry out. There were some rough moments...some not so rough moments. Felt panicky walking up the driveway. Afterwards we met at a church carnival. Sometimes he is a trigger, sometimes not. Things were going ok. Then a friend he went to school with was there asking when we were going to have a 4th.

Friend is ready to pop any day. Just thinking about holding a newborn...that is making tear up right now.

MovingUpward posted 6/15/2013 21:03 PM

(((TCD)))

Sending mojo

TattoodChinaDoll posted 6/15/2013 21:03 PM

And you know what really sucks? I've been told I am wrong for how I feel so many times. I've been told I am wrong for not following what he thinks is the proper time line so many times. I've treated with anger at how I feel so many times...that I actually feel bad about what I feel now and just feel wrong. I feel abused.

jo2love posted 6/15/2013 22:04 PM

(((TCD)))

You have a right to your feelings. Sending you strength.

tesla posted 6/16/2013 06:44 AM

(((((TCD)))))

dreamlife posted 6/16/2013 19:13 PM

Sending you tons of Mojo and huge hugs!

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