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Divorce/Separation :
Need SI mojo - I need to stay focused

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 TattoodChinaDoll (original poster member #34602) posted at 4:38 PM on Saturday, June 15th, 2013

I'm going to a baby shower today for a good friend (the only one who knows everything). When I got the invitation I went back and forth and back and forth about going. I know it's going to be difficult. I'm going to be emotionally exhausted after. And like I said in one of my previous posts, I don't have a soft place to land. I obviously don't have the support of a loving husband. I need some good SI mojo floating in the universe. I need to come home from this party remembering why I'm in this forum and that I'm deserving of so much better. I'm allowing myself to be sad, unlike him. But I need to stay focused.

Me: 35
WH: 37 TimeToManUp
Married: 14 years, together 19 years
3 daughters: 12, 8, 6, and 2 angel babies (2013 and 2014)

D-Day: 12/21/2011
Confronted him: 12/22/2011

This is the most difficult thing I've ever done.

posts: 1841   ·   registered: Jan. 20th, 2012   ·   location: New Jersey
id 6375178
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FaithFool ( member #20150) posted at 4:45 PM on Saturday, June 15th, 2013

(((TCD))) I hope some the joy of the others who are going to honour your BFF bleeds into your world just a little.

You're very brave to go. I totally get why you would want/need to stay away from things like that.

DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

posts: 21594   ·   registered: Jul. 7th, 2008   ·   location: Canada
id 6375181
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jo2love ( member #31528) posted at 4:46 PM on Saturday, June 15th, 2013

(((TCD)))

Sending you mojo, strength, and good thoughts.

posts: 51035   ·   registered: Mar. 16th, 2011
id 6375182
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caregiver9000 ( member #28622) posted at 5:36 PM on Saturday, June 15th, 2013

SI mojo!!!

You are a good person. You are very brave and kind. Stay focused, because all of those positive things YOU are-- YOU deserve in your life as well!!

Me: fortysomething, independent, happy,
XH "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
two kids, teens. Old enough I am truly NO CONTACT w/ NPD zebraduck
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

posts: 7063   ·   registered: May. 27th, 2010   ·   location: a better place
id 6375223
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jjct ( member #17484) posted at 5:41 PM on Saturday, June 15th, 2013

mojo baby!

*what cg said*

posts: 7269   ·   registered: Dec. 24th, 2007   ·   location: texas
id 6375230
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nowiknow23 ( member #33226) posted at 5:49 PM on Saturday, June 15th, 2013

Sending you love and strength, honey. ((((TCD))))

You can call me NIK

And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane

posts: 40250   ·   registered: Aug. 29th, 2011
id 6375236
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 TattoodChinaDoll (original poster member #34602) posted at 6:27 PM on Saturday, June 15th, 2013

Me: 35
WH: 37 TimeToManUp
Married: 14 years, together 19 years
3 daughters: 12, 8, 6, and 2 angel babies (2013 and 2014)

D-Day: 12/21/2011
Confronted him: 12/22/2011

This is the most difficult thing I've ever done.

posts: 1841   ·   registered: Jan. 20th, 2012   ·   location: New Jersey
id 6375270
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jo2love ( member #31528) posted at 6:31 PM on Saturday, June 15th, 2013

(((((TCD)))))

Honey, I can't imagine going to a baby shower so soon after what you've been through. The fact that you are attending shows you do have strength. Please know that we are your soft place to land. Lean on us. Get it all out.

posts: 51035   ·   registered: Mar. 16th, 2011
id 6375273
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Kajem ( member #36134) posted at 7:18 PM on Saturday, June 15th, 2013

(((((TCD)))))

Let SI be your soft place to land... we are here for you.

Sending strength and love your way.

Hugs, too.

K

I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - UnknownRelationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

posts: 6708   ·   registered: Jul. 15th, 2012   ·   location: Florida
id 6375307
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Tripletrouble ( member #39169) posted at 7:28 PM on Saturday, June 15th, 2013

Lots of love and hugs to you. Please do something nice for yourself this weekend.

40 somethings - me BW after 20 years
D Day April 2013
Divorced November 2013
Happily remarried 2018
Time is a great healer but a terrible beautician.

posts: 1175   ·   registered: May. 3rd, 2013
id 6375311
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AppleBlossom ( member #38541) posted at 9:09 PM on Saturday, June 15th, 2013

Sending you all the love and hugs in the world. We are here for you.

posts: 154   ·   registered: Feb. 23rd, 2013   ·   location: Australia
id 6375389
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tesla ( member #34697) posted at 1:34 AM on Sunday, June 16th, 2013

((((TCD))))

Hope you are doing ok.

We are here for you.

"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

posts: 5066   ·   registered: Jan. 31st, 2012
id 6375560
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jo2love ( member #31528) posted at 2:44 AM on Sunday, June 16th, 2013

(((TCD)))

How are you doing?

posts: 51035   ·   registered: Mar. 16th, 2011
id 6375601
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 TattoodChinaDoll (original poster member #34602) posted at 2:59 AM on Sunday, June 16th, 2013

I'm tired. I feel like I just need to have a good cry but I've stopped myself so many times that I feel choked up and can't get a cry out. There were some rough moments...some not so rough moments. Felt panicky walking up the driveway. Afterwards we met at a church carnival. Sometimes he is a trigger, sometimes not. Things were going ok. Then a friend he went to school with was there asking when we were going to have a 4th.

Friend is ready to pop any day. Just thinking about holding a newborn...that is making tear up right now.

Me: 35
WH: 37 TimeToManUp
Married: 14 years, together 19 years
3 daughters: 12, 8, 6, and 2 angel babies (2013 and 2014)

D-Day: 12/21/2011
Confronted him: 12/22/2011

This is the most difficult thing I've ever done.

posts: 1841   ·   registered: Jan. 20th, 2012   ·   location: New Jersey
id 6375615
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MovingUpward ( member #14866) posted at 3:03 AM on Sunday, June 16th, 2013

(((TCD)))

Sending mojo

posts: 54450   ·   registered: Jun. 4th, 2007
id 6375622
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 TattoodChinaDoll (original poster member #34602) posted at 3:03 AM on Sunday, June 16th, 2013

And you know what really sucks? I've been told I am wrong for how I feel so many times. I've been told I am wrong for not following what he thinks is the proper time line so many times. I've treated with anger at how I feel so many times...that I actually feel bad about what I feel now and just feel wrong. I feel abused.

Me: 35
WH: 37 TimeToManUp
Married: 14 years, together 19 years
3 daughters: 12, 8, 6, and 2 angel babies (2013 and 2014)

D-Day: 12/21/2011
Confronted him: 12/22/2011

This is the most difficult thing I've ever done.

posts: 1841   ·   registered: Jan. 20th, 2012   ·   location: New Jersey
id 6375624
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jo2love ( member #31528) posted at 4:04 AM on Sunday, June 16th, 2013

(((TCD)))

You have a right to your feelings. Sending you strength.

posts: 51035   ·   registered: Mar. 16th, 2011
id 6375672
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tesla ( member #34697) posted at 12:44 PM on Sunday, June 16th, 2013

(((((TCD)))))

"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

posts: 5066   ·   registered: Jan. 31st, 2012
id 6375848
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dreamlife ( member #8142) posted at 1:13 AM on Monday, June 17th, 2013

Sending you tons of Mojo and huge hugs!

~XWH told me what I wanted to hear but he always did whatever he wanted to do~

"He called me a bitch.
I called him an ambulance."
Linda H.)

posts: 26209   ·   registered: Sep. 7th, 2005
id 6376408
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