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defeatedlost posted 6/15/2013 12:12 PM

I was married for seventeen years to my highschool boyfriend went thru a lot of ups and down but surrvived it all I could not have children easily so when we were twenty four and my daughter arrived we were extatic and he was a devoted father and husband for twelve yrs of her life then he became a cop and two yrs later he cheated on me and destroyed me life I am lost and destroyed I don't know how to move on he was all I knew my backbone and my defender then in a day his birthday it all fell apart I didn't recognize the person in front of me....I still cry and it will be two yrs in oct

anonymous823 posted 6/15/2013 12:15 PM

I'm sorry you are hurting. I too feel pretty lost; you're not alone.

AFrayedKnot posted 6/15/2013 12:25 PM

Welcome to SI. Weekends are a little slow here. Hang on and keep posting. There are wonderful people here who have been where you have are and have felt like you do. They have gotten through it and so can you.

In the upper left hand corner there is a link to the healing library. Take some time to read through there.

Also there are a few really good threads in Just Found Out. They might be a few pages back but they are worth looking for:
Tactical Primer
Before you say Reconcile
A Great post for Newbies

Hang in there.

TrustGone posted 6/15/2013 14:37 PM

Hi (((defeatedlost))). I am so sorry you have to be here, but it is a wonderful place to be if you need support, encouragement, or just a shoulder to cry on. We have all been where you are now. Even though the stories may be different, the pain is the same and we have all felt it at one time or another. You are not alone.

I also still cry sometimes (yesterday) and it has also been two years in Sept since DDay#1. I also thought we had a good marriage and was happy. I had no idea he had been cheating on me for years and suddenly did not know who the hell replaced my wonderful husband with this jerk. I am glad to see that you are in IC. I don't know your story or the state that your marriage is in now, but it does get somewhat better with time. Hang in there and read the articuals in the healing library in the upper left corner. There is lots of really good information there. Others will be along to welcome you to our corner of the world. Holiday weekends are usually slow, so don't get discouraged if it takes a while to get replies from other posters. Maybe take some time to write out your story so others will have a little more info as to where you are now and what you have done so far. (((HUGS)))

defeatedlost posted 6/15/2013 17:38 PM

Thanks everyone I have been looking for ways to vent because all this pent up hurt is damagin me more my story is unbelievable I can't believe I lived a lie for twenty years I thought we were happily married but he says I was the only one happy I didn't see anything wrong I worked full time cleaned house took him. Lunch when he called did whatever he asked had sex even if I didn't want to slept four hrs a night to make him bfast and took care of my daughter where he never had to lift a finger I picked him up when he was down never told anyone negative things about him I let him buy what ever he wanted whenever he wanted I don't know what I did wrong....I even took him back and he jobless and doesn't want to get a job I love him so

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