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Newest Member: jaxonraine (61774)

User Topic: Parking Lot, Target
♀ 38207
Member # 38207
Default  Posted: 5:06 PM, June 15th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That's where we were today when we saw the main OW. It has been over a year since I have seen this person who was once my friend. My H saw her first, put both hands firmly on the steering wheel and said 'I think we will go somewhere else'. I was trying to simultaneously curb my desire to jerk the steering wheel and send my H's new truck slamming into her and fight off the sudden need to vomit. It's an hour later and I still feel like I need to vomit. We are supposed to have a movie date tonight. The sitter is arranged, the tickets are purchased. All I want to do is crawl in a dark hole and cry. She was my friend, dammit. I confided in her and she used my words to help fuel the relationship between her and my H. She gets to go to Target without having to worry about running into me. She doesn't even feel like she did anything wrong at all. No guilt, no pain, nothing. My H, did the right thing by choosing to go somewhere else for trash bags and charcoal. He held my hand and asked if I was ok. I said no. He hasn't said anything since (excepting attempts to change the subject). I know he doesn't know what to do. Hell, I don't even know what he should do. I hate this.

Posts: 1595 | Registered: Jan 2013
♀ 39523
Member # 39523
Default  Posted: 6:18 PM, June 15th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't know how long it has been, but believe me she is not made of stone. You and your hubby were together, while she was there alone. Enjoy you date,have fun, and don't give her a second thought.

Posts: 180 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: United States
♀ 30024
Member # 30024
Default  Posted: 6:40 PM, June 15th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Please don't let the OW take one more thing from you. Go on your date, have a lovely time. Sit in the back row and make out with your H. Make fantastic mind movies for the OW.

I am so sorry. I would imagine I would want to vomit and run the OW over, too. But, don't let it ruin your date night. She isn't worth it. ((((musiclovingmom))))

BW (me) & FWH both over half a century; married several decades; children
d-day 3/10; LTA (7 years?)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak." ~ Homer Simpson

Posts: 13445 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: The Great White North USA
♀ 38207
Member # 38207
Default  Posted: 6:44 PM, June 15th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks guys. I'm going to go. I'm even trying to have a good attitude. I think it bothers me extra because the last time I saw her, we were dropping off our son at her house to babysit while we went out. I had no idea they'd been sleeping together for months by then.

Posts: 1595 | Registered: Jan 2013
♀ 13447
Member # 13447
Default  Posted: 8:56 PM, June 15th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I so feel for you. I had a friend do the same to me...use my words to go after my H.

One day you will be able to feel strong enough to see her and just look through her like she's nothing. One day...she will be the one that will fear running into you because the look will remind her of what trash she has been.

"Being in love" first moved them to promise fidelity: this quieter love enables them to keep the promise. *CS Lewis*

Posts: 11650 | Registered: Jan 2007 | From: Just a fool in limbo
♀ 38763
Member # 38763
Default  Posted: 9:20 PM, June 15th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm in exactly the same boat. OW was my very close friend I confided all my hurts to and she used it to pursue my husband and throw all my weaknesses I trusted her with in my face.
We ran into her almost literally a couple of months ago and I felt like I would die.
I know I should have felt like the queen bee but really, I just felt like an idiot who was still with the guy who gave everything sacred between us away for her and indulged all the bad things she was saying about me.
The OW is bpd and truly doesn't think she did any wrong. Actually said she did me a favor and now I could move on and find someone better:/
I held my head high and sucked it up but it wasn't easy. I really don't know what's right anymore but I guess at least acting like we are holding our heads high and walking tall are the answers.
Go have fun with your man...there's really nothing left to do:)

Me: 44 BS
Him: 40 FWS
Ow: 47 head case, no obs
5 DD's: 23, 20, 19, 17, 12
Last D-day: August 2012 with lots of very blurry lines.

Posts: 360 | Registered: Mar 2013 | From: Washington State
♀ 38207
Member # 38207
Default  Posted: 7:59 AM, June 16th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

We went out. He apologized for having put me in a situation where I have to suffer the consequences of a choice I didn't make. The movie was great and we enjoyed the time without our children (DD5, DS 20 mos and 2 mos). When we came home, I was sick all night. Miserable yes, but at least I know the prolonged nausea wasn't entirely caused by having seen her.

Posts: 1595 | Registered: Jan 2013
Heartless Bytchh
♀ 12347
Member # 12347
Default  Posted: 10:11 AM, June 16th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

trash bags and charcoal.

It's better you went somewhere else. Buying those kind of items at the last place she was seen could be considered premeditation.

Woodchipper pretty much trumps everything.-Rufus Turner
Sometimes I feel like SI is that person who says... "if you can't say anything nice... come sit by me!"-rumorhasit

Posts: 6066 | Registered: Oct 2006 | From: Another day in Paradise
Topic Posts: 8

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