You are not a fool. You loved and trusted your husband. That makes you a loving and caring person not a fool.
You have been down this road before so your being numb is completely normal. Of course you are numb. It is also your body's way of shutting off the hurt/trauma.
What were the consequences you gave him last time if he cheated again? Are you prepared to follow through?
He hasn't stopped cheating because he hasn't had to.
You and your boys deserve, honesty, truth and love.
Seek an attorney to get information. Knowledge is power. You don't have to decide right now to stay or go but you need to gather all the information you can.
Look up the 180 and start it now. Take the power back.
YOUR job is to heal you, not worry about saving the marriage or protecting him from your feelings and pain.
Please consider IC.
It is normal to want to rip his heart out, along with other body parts.
For me it was hard to get a sentence going with out a string of curse words I had never ever thought of before! I hated him and loved him all in one second, all the while needing him to hold me as I was disgusted by the sight of him.
I learned this was HIS choice and had NOTHING to do with me, or our marriage. My husband simply chose to escape his personal problems in fantasy land. It was ANY body, she was not important. What was important was the excitement of the affair, the belief that he was so irresistible . What he learned was that a woman that would sleep with a married man, would sleep with ANY man.
I am sorry for you and hope you will take care of yourself and your children.
Give yourself time to breathe and know that we are all here to support you.
Good luck. You can make it.