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Newest Member: Schattenfell (61077)

User Topic: I thought we were getting there....
♀ 39307
Member # 39307
Default  Posted: 6:08 PM, June 15th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So, i discovered my husband had visted a prostitute for oral sex less than 6 months after we got married about 5 weeks ago. We both wanted to reconcile, we have sinve had two beautiful babkes (girl 2.5 years and boy just turned 1 year a few days ago). (We've been married for 4 years.) There have been issues throughout the relationship with overuse of online porn, but I had no idea he'd actually turned the fantasy into reality unti a few short weeks afo.

Anyway, I digress....until abfew days ago, he appeared to be a model for reconciliation but now it turns out that I have some kind of time limit to my 'getting over it' and 'moving on from it'.

It makes me so sad to feel like such an idiot. I really believed him when he said he wukd do whatever it took to make things better.Now it feels like he's vocalised whatever he thought he should to try and repair thhings, rather than mean them.

He says he's struggling to cope with me being distant and not as empathetic as I usd to be when he was suffering from work related stress, but it's still too soon and too raw after learing what he did to be even close to 'normal'.

I'm pretty sure that if you're really sorry for what you've done that you'd acept there is going to be an ongoing period of time were things are really rough but he thinks we should just be 'moving forward'.

In the time since he told me the truth about the prostitute I've had meningitis and been in hospital for 5 days, only just recovered and he's already pi55ed at me for still being unsure/scared/frightened about reconciliation and if he truly means just doesn't feel right.

Does anyone have any advice...????

Posts: 6 | Registered: May 2013 | From: UK
♀ 39307
Member # 39307
Default  Posted: 6:09 PM, June 15th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

PS...apologies for the bad typing. Bit drunk and hate this stoopid ipad..! :o(

Posts: 6 | Registered: May 2013 | From: UK
♀ 35812
Member # 35812
Default  Posted: 6:31 PM, June 15th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yeah, boot his rear end to the curb, contact a lawyer, and file for CS and SS. When a WS knifes you through the heart and then complains because you bleed out on the carpet, it's time to rid yourself of some dead weight, meaning your WS. You wouldn't tell someone with a broken leg that they have 2 weeks to be up and running again. You wouldn't tell someone with diabetes that they had to wean themselves off of insulin within a month. You can't set a time limit on recovery for someone whose life has been blown up by a nuclear bomb. He's pissed? Show him what pissed looks like with a door slam to his back side.

Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012

Posts: 9901 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
♀ 39307
Member # 39307
Default  Posted: 4:43 AM, June 16th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks for the reply Skan.

I think I ultimately know I need to say goodbye to him but I guess I'm not brave enough just yet. I don't want to rush into a decision I'll regret but I'm really beginning to feel that we just won't be able to work through this together. Makes me so sad to think our beautiful children will have to learn to live with mummy and daddy in seperate homes but I know deep down I cannot keep living like's just too hard :'(

Posts: 6 | Registered: May 2013 | From: UK
Topic Posts: 4

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