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Discovered old A. Another DDay.

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RunningBlind posted 6/16/2013 09:19 AM

I've been doing well... until I accidentally discovered yet another affair STBXWH had.,. this A happened a few years ago.,. but it feels like right now, you know?

So, even though he may have erased her from his life by now, I have no clue. But my pain is right now. My anger and hopelessness is right now. He never told me about her.

The feeling of being terrified, of me and my children being abandoned, is quite horrific. Sadly, it's nothing new and today is just another DDay.

Happy father's day.

Kelany posted 6/16/2013 09:22 AM

It doesn't matter if it's old to THEM, it's fresh for US. It's a new trauma in our life and yet another betrayal.

I'm so sorry.

windowsnotwalls posted 6/16/2013 09:26 AM


So sorry.

A good book is The Journey from Abandonment to Healing by Susan Anderson.

What she'd describe you're in right now is the shattering stage, and a gentle loving reminder that it does pass. So sorry for your pain today. Big hugs.

Getting to Happy posted 6/16/2013 14:46 PM

What a damn Drag!


k94ever posted 6/16/2013 16:03 PM

Running...I'm so sorry.

I remember what it was like dealing with FWS's TT. The knives were always so sharp as they went into my back. Even though I was numb by that time...they still hurt.



solus sto posted 6/16/2013 17:19 PM

(((RunningBlind))) I am so sorry. I, too, had belated d-days, and they are agonizing, especially if you've believed yourself to be working toward reconciliation.

ETA: I second the recommendation for the book, The Journey from Abandonment to Healing. It was very helpful not just to me, but also to my very damaged WH.

[This message edited by solus sto at 5:48 PM, June 16th (Sunday)]

RunningBlind posted 6/16/2013 19:43 PM

Thank you everyone.

I'm so saddened also that all the progress I'd been making in the past few months, was destroyed by something that could have been so easily avoided, if only WH had a shred of backbone and moral character.

I'm also saddened by the idea (truth?) that R may be a foolish hope.

I'll be looking into the book too. Thanks again.

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