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Newest Member: timeheals (61501)

User Topic: Hard day for me
♀ 34918
Member # 34918
Default  Posted: 9:26 AM, June 16th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Today is not only Father's Day, but also my youngest's second birthday. And I'm spending the day reliving giving birth to her, and what a jerk WH was to me the entire time I was in the hospital. He was completely disinterested in our baby, and would have rather spent the entire time on his phone. He didn't support me in recovery, and actually left me for several hours to go shopping, about an hour after my c section.

I was going through old pictures to find a baby pic to put up on Facebook, and I just had to stop looking at the birth pictures because even two years later, it still hurts me. I will never feel the same about my last baby's birth, the way I felt about the older two :(

My daughter's birth was my first inclination that something was going on, and 2 1/2 weeks after her birth, I found the text messages between WH and OW.

Let the triggerpalooza begin

BW (me):31
WH (guiltfilled11): 32
together 12 years, married 6 years
DDay: July 6th 2011
False R: beginning of August
True R until DDay 06/20 - talking to another girl and lying about it
Kids: DD 8, DS 6, DD 4

Posts: 184 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: NY
♀ 35971
Member # 35971
Default  Posted: 11:42 AM, June 16th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


You need to CONSCIOUSLY change the internal dialogue in your head when you look at the photos of your daughter.

Instead of looking at the pictures and thinking this is when he was knee deep in his A, you need to look at the pictures and OUTLOUD say how beautiful and precious your daughter is and how special that day was when she came in to your life.

DO NOT let his A rob you or your daughter of this special day.

Concentrate on the POSITIVE of your daughter and that this is the anniversary of her birth.

Meanwhile, let your WH know you are triggering.

Me - BS
WH - old
4 Kids
Dday May 2012

Posts: 1569 | Registered: Jun 2012
♀ 33867
Member # 33867
Default  Posted: 2:59 PM, June 16th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I will never feel the same about my last baby's birth, the way I felt about the older two :(

(((Hurt))) My heart hurts for you.

I completely understand and wish I could offer a suggestion that would be a guaranteed "fix" ~ something that would change how you feel. Somethings are so destructive that they will forever cause us pain.

Do you share this with your WH?

ME: 57 BS
HIM: 64 WH
Married: 32 years
D'Day: 10/29/10
in R 6 years and it's working but he is putting 200% into it (as he should) to make it right again.

The truth hurts, but I have never seen it cause the pain that lies do.

Posts: 2441 | Registered: Nov 2011
Topic Posts: 3

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