I spent yesterday IMing OW. First time having contact with her since the Dday where she showed up at our work to announce her pregnancy (she likes the shock value). All other contact since Dday has been her harassing me, so to say that having contact with her is stressful for me is an understatement.
But, I'm the one to do it. OW can't even be civil with FWH long enough to complete a child support hearing without her trying to pick a fight, slinging insults, etc.
She wants her new husband to adopt OC. He has been with OW since OC was 1 (he was engaged to his pregnant, BSO when OW began sleeping with him, and conceived another OC with him). We are in full support of that. She also wants us to pay all of the fees associated with adopting OC. Whatever. We'll happily do it, as long as she doesn't back out, it's cheaper than child support for the next 15 years.
She let us know that she had tried to send us paperwork previously. Adoption paperwork? Nope! Just name change paperwork. She wanted to change OC's last name so her new H's name, without an adoption going through. No way. If he wants OC to have his last name, he can be her legal father. I told OW as much.
So, I am spending Father's Day contacting adoption attorneys to find out the cost of filing a petition. FWH is spending Father's Day at the menial part time job he has picked up (in addition to full time schooling) to pay child support for OC.
I thought this would be such a joyous time, but my feelings are so mixed.
-A little bit of loss(?). I will never have a relationship with OC, who is the spitting image of my own COM.
-Resentment for OW. She was so "proud" to have FWH's baby, so proud for OC to have FWH's last name (famous last name in Hollywood, but FIL is adopted, so no blood relation). She put that last name on everything, to the point that it has been such a trigger for me, I have gone back to my maiden name. Now she wants the adoption done and name change complete BEFORE OC starts school (this is very important to her).
- Triumph. OW told me she would never "leave me alone", and that she would never let me forget about her. She said how FWH will "ALWAYS be her baby daddy" (yeah, she speaks like that). Well, OW, who's your child's father now?
-Defeat. OW gets off scott free. She gets to play house with her new, much younger husband, and forget about the lives she tried so hard to ruin.
-Relief. If this goes through, my husband will get out of at least 15 years of child support payments.
What a strange, mixed bag of emotions.
I did well corresponding with OW. Lost my temper when she told me she tried to change OC's name without having her H adopt OC, but I didn't let it show.
Thanks for letting me put that out there. I juts feel so weird today.
[This message edited by Want2help at 2:06 PM, June 16th (Sunday)]
DDay 6/07 (immediately separated)
His OC born 2008/Adopted 2014
My Affair: 2015
Status: trying to pick up the pieces.