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sicktomy posted 6/16/2013 18:49 PM

I'm sitting here hearing her read and it's the 2nd hardest thing i've hat to do. The first is breaking on d-day and thirst is writing the timeline. I wish I could say I was proactive in writing this but my wife asked for this. I feel like I'm breaking her again, although she'll say she was repaired from the d-day. I think the only reason I didn't want to do it is because I liked our progress. I just hope we can move beyond this and live out our days together. I love her so much and wish I had realise my feelings before I messed everything up.

mainlyinpain posted 6/16/2013 19:01 PM

Giving her the truth will only help your progess more. It will let her know that you can and will tell her truths even if they are hard. This helps with trust.
Sending good thoughts to you and your BS.

BaxtersBFF posted 6/17/2013 08:13 AM

How are you doing today tomy? How's your BW?

Aubrie posted 6/17/2013 08:25 AM

I know the feeling. Just got thru writing, and having my husband read my timeline. Tough stuff.

How you guys doing today?

sicktomy posted 6/17/2013 20:36 PM

To be honest, way better than I expected. There was no screaming, just talking. We went to bed together and cuddled. This morning was rougher as most Mondays are but this one seemed to be be worse. I think her mind was busy during the night. After about an hour things did calm down and we spoke on the phone while we drove to work. Some rough patches after work but bs took 15 minutes alone and that seemed to help, as did her workout. Thanks for the thoughts.

SecondHelping posted 6/18/2013 14:42 PM

Why did it take you over a year to do the TL? Why now?

Aubrie posted 6/18/2013 15:03 PM

Why did it take you over a year to do the TL? Why now?

I'm 20 months out. Just finished mine. Why? Because QS never asked for one. Ever. Quite honestly, he didn't ask for very many details at all. I did this for my own purposes. I needed to write it all out, put in in my journal, and get the whole, horrid, ugly truth on paper.

We'd had some discussions recently that hit some snags. They were issues tied to things that happened during my A. Things he didn't know about because well, he didn't ask and didn't want to know at the time. I felt we'd kind of shot ourselves in the foot in not doing the timeline.

QS was aware of my decision to do a timeline, he decided to read it. Helped us both tremendously and gave him better insight into some issues I was having.

Simple as that.

sicktomy posted 6/20/2013 18:31 PM

I wish I had done it before when she first brought it up. I thought it would just cause more pain, didn't realize how important it was to her and I thought she knew every thing. She posted on another thread that she'd love it if I supplied one.

Patchy posted 6/22/2013 15:55 PM

She needs the truth, but be aware that any new information she receives means she's basically starting all over with her recovery. It's going to be a long road. Be patient. Be there for her as long as it takes. She'll have ups and downs and it may seem like it will never end, but if you are both committed, it will end eventually.