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Newest Member: jon72 (46048)

User Topic: Bw reading timeline I just gave her
sicktomy
♂ 36479
Member # 36479
Default  Posted: 6:49 PM, June 16th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm sitting here hearing her read and it's the 2nd hardest thing i've hat to do. The first is breaking on d-day and thirst is writing the timeline. I wish I could say I was proactive in writing this but my wife asked for this. I feel like I'm breaking her again, although she'll say she was repaired from the d-day. I think the only reason I didn't want to do it is because I liked our progress. I just hope we can move beyond this and live out our days together. I love her so much and wish I had realise my feelings before I messed everything up.


Me (WH - 37)
Her (BS - 35)zayda1
Married 7 years, together for 9
2 children (5 years & 2 years)
Discovery of PA 04/15/12

Posts: 60 | Registered: Aug 2012
mainlyinpain
♀ 39134
Member # 39134
Default  Posted: 7:01 PM, June 16th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Giving her the truth will only help your progess more. It will let her know that you can and will tell her truths even if they are hard. This helps with trust.
Sending good thoughts to you and your BS.


DD 1 - 7/7/2004
DD 2 - 10/31/2011
DD 3 - 4/30/2013(or continuation?)(Yes)
DD 4 - 9/25/2013
DD 5 - 2/15/2014 (found phone from 2009)

Posts: 526 | Registered: Apr 2013
BaxtersBFF
♂ 26859
Member # 26859
Default  Posted: 8:13 AM, June 17th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

How are you doing today tomy? How's your BW?


WH - 44
BW - gerrygirl

Posts: 6103 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Boise
Aubrie
♀ 33886
Member # 33886
Default  Posted: 8:25 AM, June 17th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I know the feeling. Just got thru writing, and having my husband read my timeline. Tough stuff.

How you guys doing today?


"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - J. Wayne

Posts: 6532 | Registered: Nov 2011
sicktomy
♂ 36479
Member # 36479
Default  Posted: 8:36 PM, June 17th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

To be honest, way better than I expected. There was no screaming, just talking. We went to bed together and cuddled. This morning was rougher as most Mondays are but this one seemed to be be worse. I think her mind was busy during the night. After about an hour things did calm down and we spoke on the phone while we drove to work. Some rough patches after work but bs took 15 minutes alone and that seemed to help, as did her workout. Thanks for the thoughts.


Me (WH - 37)
Her (BS - 35)zayda1
Married 7 years, together for 9
2 children (5 years & 2 years)
Discovery of PA 04/15/12

Posts: 60 | Registered: Aug 2012
SecondHelping
♂ 36796
Member # 36796
Default  Posted: 2:42 PM, June 18th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Why did it take you over a year to do the TL? Why now?


D-Day 1: Feb 1990
D-Day 2: 3 Sep 2012 (3 month EA/3 week PA)
BS 49, fWW 43 (Amibroken)
OP- Police Chief (Age 37)
M 25 Yrs, 3 Kids (17, 14, 11)
I initated the relationship at the Railway Tavern, she tried to end it at Scrap Tavern

Posts: 508 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Delmarva
Aubrie
♀ 33886
Member # 33886
Default  Posted: 3:03 PM, June 18th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Why did it take you over a year to do the TL? Why now?
Dunno about the OP but for myself...

I'm 20 months out. Just finished mine. Why? Because QS never asked for one. Ever. Quite honestly, he didn't ask for very many details at all. I did this for my own purposes. I needed to write it all out, put in in my journal, and get the whole, horrid, ugly truth on paper.

We'd had some discussions recently that hit some snags. They were issues tied to things that happened during my A. Things he didn't know about because well, he didn't ask and didn't want to know at the time. I felt we'd kind of shot ourselves in the foot in not doing the timeline.

QS was aware of my decision to do a timeline, he decided to read it. Helped us both tremendously and gave him better insight into some issues I was having.

Simple as that.


"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - J. Wayne

Posts: 6532 | Registered: Nov 2011
sicktomy
♂ 36479
Member # 36479
Default  Posted: 6:31 PM, June 20th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I wish I had done it before when she first brought it up. I thought it would just cause more pain, didn't realize how important it was to her and I thought she knew every thing. She posted on another thread that she'd love it if I supplied one.


Me (WH - 37)
Her (BS - 35)zayda1
Married 7 years, together for 9
2 children (5 years & 2 years)
Discovery of PA 04/15/12

Posts: 60 | Registered: Aug 2012
Patchy
♀ 39228
Member # 39228
Default  Posted: 3:55 PM, June 22nd (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

She needs the truth, but be aware that any new information she receives means she's basically starting all over with her recovery. It's going to be a long road. Be patient. Be there for her as long as it takes. She'll have ups and downs and it may seem like it will never end, but if you are both committed, it will end eventually.


Me BS 44
Him FWS 45
Married 23 Years
DDay 1 July 2012
DDay 2 Christmas Day 2013 same woman
EA with kissing, very strong bond and talk of leaving spouses for each other.

Posts: 93 | Registered: May 2013
Topic Posts: 9

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