FieldsOfLavender - God bless you. This isn't easy, no matter the path you choose.
I do worry for you that this slow seperation will create (or elongate) the sadness and semi-dependency you have on your STBX.
Sometimes prolonged weening is worse than cold-turkey, rip the band-aid off pain and loneliness.
I am fairly certain there is no "right" answer...just the one that is right for you; which may or may not match the collective well-intentioned wisdom of the SI masses.
[This message edited by TrustNoOne at 10:17 PM, June 17th (Monday)]