SurvivingInfidelity.com Forum Archives

First I will explain that xpos was very controlling our whole M.

Our D decree states that all money is to be divided equally. Some months ago, xpos‘ L came into possession of an amount of money that he is holding (At least he is holding onto my half. I believe xpos has his.) and he states that certain conditions must be met before I can receive my half. Xpos must come to my home and get certain items that he wants. Two things that he named have been given to him since (before I knew about this) to the best of my ability, since he was very vague. One item I am unable to find. They were named in court papers before he came to collect what he wanted from here, so he has a right to all, except the items he did not clearly specify. I have rec’d emails that came after the court-ordered 30-day period naming things he wants from here and I believe he will use the money as extortion to get those things also. If I do find and give him the other item, he will then withhold it until he gets those things. Some I have already gotten rid of because the time was up.

AND I will NEVER allow him back in the house! He has been here while I was away and was here, out of his car, for a “while”. He was seen here by others. What was he doing on my property for that “while”?

He has delayed doing things that he was court-ordered to do and played all kinds of games from day one. Some I posted here about in response to others facing the same things from their WS. He has stated that he will “make this cost [me} as much as [he} can”. In the months following the D, he sued me twice to get the judge to force me to give him money; the judge did not see things his way either time. This cost me quite a bit (and him, but he doesn’t care) to have a L defend me against his accusations of contempt and lying. His L is well known for dragging things out and making them as costly as possible. Sadly, they make a good match.

I told him and both Ls that I will give him the third object when I find it. I have not come across it yet. I have not seen it in years. He has told me in writing that he feels our M was over for 4 or 5 years before he left. To my way of thinking, that was a confession that he was having his As and ONSs that long, which is just how long I suspected him of it. So, to my way of thinking, he had those 4 or 5 years to gather up anything he wanted to take with him, just as he took his porn collection and Viagara on the very first day. To minimize how long he spend here when he was court-ordered to get his things, I gathered up as much as I could and even gave him things he had not asked for but I knew to be his.

My L has not listened to anything I have told him. If he had, HE would have been in possession of the money to divide, as I found the money and obtained the form to request it. I asked him NOT to let xpos’ L to have it; to have xpos come to his office to sign it and for my L to submit for the money to be sent to him. I would not have played any games with it and we both would have gotten it months ago. I do not believe he would be effective in representing me in this.

So, my friends, I am asking if you think it would be possible for me to write a letter to the judge asking him to force xpos and his L to give me my half of the money or do I have to go through a L? I know this is what xpos wants. He wants me to have to sue him for it. That would likely cost about as much as I would get. It’s his game.

Sounds like he could be in contempt of court. It is possible that you could file for this money plus ask the court for xpos to pay for your legal fees on this matter. Hopefully others can be more helpful.

You cannot write a letter to the judge. That's against the rules.

Are you entitled by court order to the money his L is holding? What his L is doing sounds unethical.

You can get a new L if you don't like the current one. Also, if you petition for contempt, you can potentially be awarded legal fees so that he has to pay for your L.

Thanks, roughroad. I wasn't sure, but was hoping I could just address this with the judge.

This money was not addressed in the D papers. It was not possible to request it at that time.

I don't want to get another L, but maybe I need to. He went right along with the idea of the exchange. Sent me a letter to that effect.

And, yes, his L is basically thought of as doing everything on the edge of ethics but no one seems to do anything about him. Like I said, they are a perfect match.

I have also mused about writing to the Bar about him, but realize they would do nothing.

I'm pretty sure that he has no right to hold on to your money, and bark out demands like a god damned blackmailer. I also think that you need a new lawyer. You have let him get away with WAY TOO MUCH. I say it's time to hammer him.

Calling the bar is worth a try. Messing around with money is a faster route to disbarment than committing a felony.

just UGH!!!! fingers crossed BH

Thanks everyone. I think I will try to see another L. I know a great female one. I wish I had her from the beginning but she was not available then.

Sparkysable, sadly, you don't even know some of the worst things he has done. We discussed those things at IC yesterday and I'm still feeling really bad. She wants to see me again sooner because of the way we left it and she knows how dark I'm feeling.

Roughroad, you have a PM.