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happierdays posted 6/17/2013 08:10 AM

Dday number two happened about a week and a half ago, I discovered an email account WH had set-up. He'd sent some emails to OW fishing for a response that never came.

I told him to pack his bag and go, which he hasn't, but he has finally showed remorse. He's answered the majority of the questions I've asked and it came out yesterday that he felt like things changed this time. He said the time before "wasn't his fault because OW pursued him, but this time it was all his fault". In some ways this gave me so much insight into his thinking, but auurgh! It pisses me off that he takes so little responsibility for his actions.

He's started reading Not Just Friends, which is helping.

I don't know whether to cry ir scream.

simplydevastated posted 6/17/2013 08:26 AM

Coming from someone who has multiple D-days I know how you feel.

I hope that the fog has finally been lifted and he will do the much needed hard work to help you and your marriage heal.


Tred posted 6/17/2013 08:33 AM

Sorry, but both times were his fault. Unless he owns this, I'd be wary of R. If he can give himself an out for betraying you and blameshifting, then he's not acquired the toolset to prevent it from happening again.

karmahappens posted 6/17/2013 08:58 AM

So she didn't respond, he got caught and suddenly sees the light...

I am sorry, but I would be very cautious here.

Sounds more like he is playing nice so he doesn't have to pack his bags.

IMO you NEVER give an ultimatum/threat you are not going to enforce.
I would be watching closely...

I understand the pain,it sucks but you are better than someone's back-up plan.

(((hugs))) I hope he is being honest.

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