I have an either unremorseful or unable to 'make it right' WS. (Probably qualifys as a FWS). I am the type of person who CRAVES connection.
I miss the physical connection, but I simiply can't live without emotional connection. And, sadly, my husband is emotionally unavailable to me - also to himself. Sad.
But in addition to it being so sad for him to be living his life with an emotional condom on, it is sad, too, for me.
I let him know a few weeks ago that if he couldn't give me come connection emotionally, that I would have to get that need met elsewhere.
I don't want to have an EA. I do not even consider having a PA. But I am so empty. I can't live without connection.
I wish there was a resourse for this - other than keeping busy, getting involved, etc. I need a partner - a person who sees me on the inside. This is what my WS was to / for me before we started to grow apart - and all this infidelity crap.
Until her recent death, I actually used my dog for this outlet. She knew all my secrets, and always knew when I was sad. Always there for me. But she recently died, and it was my fault. So that's another sadness.
Any concrete ideas for what to do with this need?
I don't want to put my kids in the position of filling this need - besides they are teenagers and don't like me most days. Raising my kids as a stay home mom has put my family in the center of my life and now that they are teenagers and my husband and I are so distant, I just feel so alone.
I am so very lonely.
Thank you all for being here.
[This message edited by WhatsRight at 9:50 AM, June 17th (Monday)]
I will not be vanquished. Rose Kennedy
My W comes to me, gets my attention, and says something variation of, 'Let's connect,' or she gives me physical strokes.
[This message edited by sisoon at 1:22 PM, June 17th (Monday)]
I read a lot! Books full of romance, hot sex and couples that I just lose myself in. it keeps my mind off my unemotional marriage most of the time, but then there are times I wish I could have a sliver of that with someone, the love and connection they share in the books.
They have done this to our hearts and then emotional stay distant after the A is over, I just don't get it!
I'M ON THE FENCE
Noone notices me - I am an old woman. I want a deep connection with someone - I'd prefer it to be with my husband. But I need a friend - the kind that knows you inside out. My only problem is that I can't share about the infidelity - so...
I guess I don't even know what I am saying.
My W comes to me, gets my attention, and says something variation of, 'Let's connect,' or she gives me physical strokes
This is really nice - but there is no talking, no touching - nothing between us. Except 'housekeeping' things about dinner, or the kids. Its not that I haven't ask for it - I have done that for many years...even before his infidelity.