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DDay plus 6 weeks Why is everything a trigger + random stuff

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CatchyUsername posted 6/17/2013 10:31 AM

I am really struggling today. WH has been 100% remorseful, accommodating and NC. We are away with his side of the family celebrating his parents 50th anniversary for 5 days all under one roof. Only one of his sisters knows. We decided to spare everyone else out of respect for my in-laws. We may never tell anyone else actually. We are maybe heading for R - that seems to be up to me. He wants it badly - if what he is saying is true, but hey, we are at 6 weeks so who the hell knows, right?

A few random thoughts just because I need to get them off my chest:
1) how can he be SO SO SO sure that he loves me and wants R when he can't even figure out how he ended up in a 3 month affair?
2) why is EVERYTHING a trigger? even things that I gave him! Last night as we were prepping the campfire I looked at a necklace I gave him and I told him I even hated the necklace now because when I looked at it I thought about it swinging above her. He took it off and threw it in the fire - no big deal.
3) I am SO SO SO pissed that I can't even enjoy a glass of wine because it makes me tired, angry and MEAN!!!!!

Anyway, that is all - I just wanted to feel a little less alone. Everyone went out to the pool and I chose to stay behind and work out some of my energy cleaning out the fire pit.

itainteasy posted 6/17/2013 11:13 AM

(((((((((((Catchy))))))))))))

Daysie posted 6/17/2013 11:24 AM

Hi - CatchyUsername.

I understand this - I am 4mths post D/Day and everything triggers me and my WH had his affair with my BF 32yrs ago. He keeps telling me that I have always been his love and life. Yet he betrayed me with my then BF. I just like you struggle to understand it all????? .

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