I am really struggling today. WH has been 100% remorseful, accommodating and NC. We are away with his side of the family celebrating his parents 50th anniversary for 5 days all under one roof. Only one of his sisters knows. We decided to spare everyone else out of respect for my in-laws. We may never tell anyone else actually. We are maybe heading for R - that seems to be up to me. He wants it badly - if what he is saying is true, but hey, we are at 6 weeks so who the hell knows, right?
A few random thoughts just because I need to get them off my chest:
1) how can he be SO SO SO sure that he loves me and wants R when he can't even figure out how he ended up in a 3 month affair?
2) why is EVERYTHING a trigger? even things that I gave him! Last night as we were prepping the campfire I looked at a necklace I gave him and I told him I even hated the necklace now because when I looked at it I thought about it swinging above her. He took it off and threw it in the fire - no big deal.
3) I am SO SO SO pissed that I can't even enjoy a glass of wine because it makes me tired, angry and MEAN!!!!!
Anyway, that is all - I just wanted to feel a little less alone. Everyone went out to the pool and I chose to stay behind and work out some of my energy cleaning out the fire pit.
