Welcome, HP. You've gotten some great questions!
I was out at a nightclub and one of the women I work with approached me on the dance floor, we danced and she told me that she thought I was really attractive and that she had been watching me for a long time
This stands out, to me. I'm assuming (maybe incorrectly) she knew you were married. If so, why weren't you insulted? That seems the default, for me. If someone I'm working with knows I was married or knows I'm with my SO then a comment like this comes across as extremely aggressive and demeaning...an implied assaulting probe based on a comfortable assurance I'll be receptive.
People, for the most part, are pretty hesitant to put themselves out there without some assurance they'll be well received. Rejection is often a pretty huge deterrent.
I can do a mental run down of people I work with that I know would be quite offended with an overture like this so I imagine others pick up on that too.
Have you represented your "company" (marriage) well before this? Can you see actions or attitudes that may have given permission for the her to feel she had an "in"?
Messedupchick asked a great question about possible resentments.
HL nailed it with the connection and focus on marriage too.
So much valuable help here and experienced members with awesome feedback. This place was a life saver for me.
Don't give up digging. That question you asked is a layers thing. The more you search the more "problems" you find. I'm still discovering mine and identifying new ones. Us WS's can be so bloody creative in that arena.
'til the roof comes off. 'til the lights go out. 'til my legs give out, can't shut my mouth